5 Ways to Think More Intentionally About Your Job

We pursue jobs and career paths for a number of reasons, including the basic need we have for paying our bills and experiencing quality of life at a level we’ve grown accustomed to.

However, we should take the time to think intentionally about our career choices and consider how the work we do impacts us, others around us, and the world. By taking the time to ask ourselves a few questions we can do meaningful work that not only allows us to make a living, but also makes a difference in the lives of others.

Answer the following questions and consider how you can use your talents and skills to make the world a better place.

Am I clear about the talents and skills I possess, and do I put them to use in my current job? If you haven’t taken an inventory of your skills and talents now is the time. Identifying what you are good at and the things that interest you can ensure that you are doing work that is satisfying and meaningful to you.

What problems in my community or in the world particularly trouble me, and do I have the talents and skills to help solve any of these problems? Many successful businesses and products start with attempting to find a solution to a problem. The same approach can help you with you career. Are there problems or issues you are passionate about? If you are passionate about the environment, the fair treatment of animals, reducing gun violence, or any number of other social issues, you might find the right job or career by thinking through some solutions to the issue or problem and, if you have the skills and talents, joining a company or organization that currently works on that issue, or perhaps taking on a entrepreneurial role and starting something of your own.

What good does my current work or company bring to our customers or clients? Take a serious look at the work you are currently doing and ask yourself who benefits? And how do they benefit? Consider whether your products or services enhance the lives of your clients and customers, supporting them to be better people, or whether your company primarily enriches the owners, without any noticeable social benefit to your community or the world.

Does the work I do, or am interested in doing, cause harm to anyone or anything? Do the products or services provided to your customers or clients cause harm? This can be a difficult question to ask and we might be tempted to downplay the harm. For example, does your company primarily sell food that is unhealthy for people, or produce products that expose customers to toxins? How might you answer that question if you work for a cigarette company or an arms manufacturer?

If the answer to the previous question is yes, is there a way to mitigate that harm by changing processes or products? In many situations, companies can mitigate or eliminate the harm their products cause by making some changes, eliminating a toxic ingredient, or instituting new practices that are more environmentally responsible. If you’re not in a position to recommend such changes you might need to reconsider your current job or career plans.

Take some time today to think more intentionally about the work you do and the impact your products and services have on your community and the world.   

Romance in the Workplace: Dos and Don'ts

Yes, dating a co-worker is common and according to some studies as many as 40% of workers have experienced an office romance. A flirtation at work can certainly make it more interesting to come into work on a Monday morning but there are also some dangers involved and before embarking on dating a co-worker it's best to understand the risks, such as developing a negative reputation in your HR department.

Here then are some dos and don'ts when it comes to romance in the workplace.

DON'TS 

Don't romance on company time. When starting a new relationship there is often a lot of excitement and interest in spending time with that other person, and talking with them as much as possible. Be sure to limit this at work. Avoid private lunch dates that could result in excessive (and unapproved) time away from the workplace, and definitely avoid public displays of affection, while resisting any fantasies you might have about sex in the office. Keep your romance to non-working hours (like evenings and the weekend) and you'll avoid any potential work conflicts.

Don't start a romance with someone who is not available. This should go without saying but only pursue a romance with someone who is single and unattached. In addition to the ethical issues involved, starting a relationship with someone who is married or otherwise attached can result in many problems and conflicts that can significantly impact your work and personal life.

Don't let it impact your work. If you're going to fall in love at work be sure to continue to do your job well. This involves fulfilling your basic work responsibilities and, as noted above, avoiding romancing on company time.

Don't date your manager or someone who reports to you. Avoid the power dynamics and conflicts that come from dating someone you report to or someone who reports to you. This will prevent any ethical violations on your job, such as showing or receiving favoritism when it comes to promotions, opportunities, or pay raises.

DOS

Do watch what you say. It can be tempting to talk about your work days and struggles and it can be a real positive to have someone close to you who understands the dynamics and struggles of your particular job. However, avoid gossiping about co-workers or sharing negative comments about your boss. If your office romance comes to an end some of your words might just be shared with others you work with. 

Do maintain a good working relationship if the romance ends. Most office romances do not result in marriage and so you need to be prepared for the end of the romance and a continuation of an effective and professional working relationship. If this seems unlikely for you it might be best to avoid a workplace romance altogether.

Do follow company protocol and policy. Many companies have policies in place in regard to work-place romance and if you want a future in your company it's best to consider these. Some discourage these relationships while others encourage you to be transparent about an office romance. It is particularly important to consider company policy and consult your HR department if you decide to embark on one of the "don'ts" from above: dating a supervisor or someone who reports to you.

Do take no for an answer. Workplace harassment is a common and serious issue. If your potential partner does not return your interest or decides to break things off after a few dates handle the situation maturely and do not press the situation. If you have a difficult time letting go in relationships that might just be a clue to avoid a workplace relationship.

A workplace romance can help make the job more interesting, and provide you with someone who understands the daily struggles of the job. You might just even find a life partner on the job (like I was fortunate to do).

However, there are negative aspects to office romances and risks involved and it's best to know what you're getting into before you pursue a relationship with a coworker.  

The Four Agreements at Work - Second in a Series

This post is the second in a series of posts pertaining to the book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz and how it relates in a career context. Click to read the first post.

A disparaging comment from a co-worker. A terse email from your supervisor. A lack of acknowledgement from a higher-up, or a tone of voice that you don't appreciate. What do all of these things have in common? They are all opportunities for you to violate the second agreement: taking things personally.

The second agreement: don't take anything personally
According to Ruiz, when we take things personally we do so out of an innate selfishness: we think that it's all about us. Me, me, me...all of the time.

But as crazed with ourselves as we are, we are also fragile. We are very susceptible to fear and jealousy. So when someone in the workplace does something that we feel is insulting or hurtful, we choose to take in "the poison" of their actions.

Here's the thing, though: we don't have to do this.

Ruiz advocates a different path, one where it is not all about us. The two-month long gap before we hear from (or don't hear from) a recruiter about a position is not about us. Getting chewed out for submitting a less-than-satisfactory project proposal is not about us. Any situation where we perceive ourselves to be put-off, let down, hurt, or anything of the like isn't about us. It is about that person who is living in his own world with his own beliefs and his own programming.

You don't have to let what he says in. It's entirely a choice you make.

The first agreement is designed to keep us from injecting poison; the second agreement is designed to keep poison from infecting us. And we can see what happens when let that poison in, from certain incidents of workplace violence to the more creative ways workers react to stress and leave their positions. These people have accepted the poison of others, and the results were extreme.

But this isn't to say that the poison let in comes from negative reactions to us. Ruiz is clear to say that anytime we let something to to our heads - good or bad -  we are infecting ourselves with poison. Internalizing the praise of others can have the same damaging effect on us and our way of being. You only need look as far as out-of-control celebrities or egocentric professional athletes to see the effect of accepting this poison.

As with the first agreement, the second agreement is best countered by becoming conscious of the ways it manifests itself in your life. How do you react when you are insulted or treated unfairly by coworkers? What do you do when coworkers heap praise upon you? Because both are poison that can affect your well-being. If you had nothing to fear and were full of love for yourself, either one would gently float by you like a breeze.

What people think about you is none of your business: this is a bold and powerful concept. Focus your energy on being true to your ethics, values, and sense of love for those you work with. The rest will come together.

Challenge: spend the next week being mindful of how you react to others. Post in the comments what you learned.

Applying for the Same Job as a Friend - Part 2 of 2

Last week's blog post presented a tricky scenario: a friend informs you that he is going to apply for a job that-as it turns out-you would be perfect for, too. After carefully assessing the position itself and contemplating your relationship with your friend, you have decided to apply. How do you break the news to your friend, and how will he take it? If you are interested in preserving your relationship with that friend, make note of the tips below to apply respectfully, appropriately, and in a way that minimizes the impact:

1. Make no mention of your application unless you get an interview: Even if you strongly feel that there will be no adverse impact to your relationship, there is no need to share news of your application before you get an interview. If you fail the initial screening, there is no affect on your relationship, so why say something that could have an impact if there is no impact? Keep it to yourself until something actionable occurs.

2. If the conversation needs to occur, be honest and upfront: If you find out that you have been accepted for an interview, there is still a chance that you will not get hired and your friend will never know. But at this stage, it is likely that the identity of the candidates will be revealed, particularly if the interviews are conducted by groups. It is now time to have the conversation. When you tell your friend, do so in a private place, preferably in person, and be direct with the fact that you assessed the opportunity yourself, felt it was a good fit for you and right for your career, and that you decided to apply. Emphasize that your reasons had nothing to do with your friendship and your hope that it will not be affected. 

3. Expect relationship strain: Despite every attempt to placate your friend, there still could be strain on your relationship. Some friends could be slightly hurt by this news, and others could see it as an out-and-out betrayal. If you have come this far, you should expect to encounter any of these reactions and determine, for you, if the impact on your relationship is worth it. Friends with strong relationships will be able to pull through, while others may not be able to. You have to be open to all possibilities and be ready to accept the consequences of your decisions. 

Two friends applying for the same position can be a true test of a relationship. But through objectivity, planning, and honesty the situation can be handled with grace. Good luck!

Applying for the Same Job as a Friend - Part 1 of 2

A close friend and coworker contacts you on the phone, talking excitedly. Listening more carefully than normal (you have to; you've never heard him so energetic!) you are able to decipher that he found a job posting with another company that would be perfect for him. "Check your email," he says, as he has sent you a link to the job description. After hanging up the phone and gently laughing to yourself, you make your way over to your computer to read the job description. When you get halfway through it, the smile disappears from your face. The added responsibilities, the ability to supervise more staff, the engagement with senior leadership...this position is fantastic.

In fact, it would be fantastic for you.

The above scenario sets in motion a not-uncommon ethical dilemma for job seekers: when two friends apply for the same job (particularly if one found out about it "first"). This is a tricky, burdensome, emotional space to exist in, one that needs to be handled with delicacy, honesty, and practicality. In this two-part series, we will delve into both the logical and emotional components of applying for the same job as a friend.

Pre-Application Assessment

Look at your potential application objectively: As talented, skilled, personable, connected, and everything in between that we feel that we are, none of us are shoo-ins for any job. Nearly all of us have a story where we did not make it past the application phase for a position that we felt we were perfect for. Further, with the many factors that go into hiring the right person for their position (including past experience, skills/abilities, how the candidate presents him/herself in an interview, references/recommendations, professional dress, the candidate's social media history, etc) it's impossible to say which of these is the determining factor that will lead to the candidate being eliminated. The point is that-controlling for these factors between you and your friend-there is no guarantee that you will or won't get the job, so check your ego at the door if you feel you will outperform your friend. All that you need to do is to determine whether you meet the minimum requirements to apply.

Look at your relationship with your friend: For most people, the most difficult part of these situations-even after convincing themselves that the application process won't favor one or the other-is their relationship with their friend. There are two possible outcomes if you apply: your friend will care or you friend will not care. If your friend doesn't care, you're fine; you go about your business and the chips fall where they may. But if you feel that your friend may care, or if you're not sure, you have to be prepare yourself for a tough conversation...and possibly the loss of the friendship. 

Next week: how (if necessary) to have a conversation with your friend.