For the benefit of our long-term health, my wife and I are completely changing our diet. Gone are the days of boxed macaroni and cheese (or "cheese-like powder," as I used to call it), fast-food restaurants, and processed food. In their place are organic fruits and veggies (beware the Dirty Dozen, however), whole-grains, and anything that isn't a "frankenfood." During such a transition (we went cold turkey), lapses back to old habits can occur...as it did for me this weekend as the temptation of such succulent Easter goodies (read: jelly beans) overrode my better judgment. I indulged mightily.
On the drive home from our holiday festivities, I thought about my behavior while, admittedly, nursing a slight stomach ache. I also thought about the recently published national jobless rate where-in March-it missed experts' estimates by only decreasing by 0.1%. What interested me beyond the numbers, though, was the news that people are still giving up finding work.
This baffles me while-at the same time-I can understand it. Being out of work can lead to many kinds of mental health/emotional disorders due to the stress that being jobless causes. Decreasing the stress is a must, but when you give up on something, you surrender your power to your circumstances.
Are you lapsing, or are you giving up? Ask yourself these questions:
How do my current activities support my long-term plan to find gainful employment?
What activities do I need to focus on now for the sake of my well-being?
What will I gain by giving up? What will I lose?
What am I empowering by giving up, and what am I disempowering?
The short-term pain of a lapse can lead to longer-term pains in your career if you don't tend to it. Reflect on your current situation and choose a path that leads to empowerment.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Saturday, April 7, 2012
High 5 Weekly Career Transitions Roundup
This is our weekly roundup of some of the best career-related articles, interviews, blogs, etc., we've read during the week. We share these every weekend so you have some great resources to prepare you for the coming week. Enjoy!
1. Reading List: 10 Insightful Books for Career Changers
"With the economy improving, you might be considering a career change. Maybe you'd like to quit your present profession and do something completely different, even start a business ... Whatever the motivation, here are some helpful books to guide you."
2. How to Use Your Contacts to Land a Job
"Here are a few tips to help you get into that next gear and to make sure that you are working your contacts to help you get to where you want to be without being overly aggressive."
3. Passed Over for a Promotion: How to Deal
"Whether we like it or not, the workplace is full of politics. People trade favors and help make things happen for people they like. It’s not always a bad thing…it’s just the way the world works."
4. When Should You Quite Your Day Job
"You need to know how much you're willing to lose before you even start thinking about starting something new."
5. 5 Ways to Probe a Company's Culture
"A lofty compensation package, spiffy title, and corner office are all great characteristics to look for in a job—but if you're looking for a happy job, a great cultural fit is equally important."
1. Reading List: 10 Insightful Books for Career Changers
"With the economy improving, you might be considering a career change. Maybe you'd like to quit your present profession and do something completely different, even start a business ... Whatever the motivation, here are some helpful books to guide you."
2. How to Use Your Contacts to Land a Job
"Here are a few tips to help you get into that next gear and to make sure that you are working your contacts to help you get to where you want to be without being overly aggressive."
3. Passed Over for a Promotion: How to Deal
"Whether we like it or not, the workplace is full of politics. People trade favors and help make things happen for people they like. It’s not always a bad thing…it’s just the way the world works."
4. When Should You Quite Your Day Job
"You need to know how much you're willing to lose before you even start thinking about starting something new."
5. 5 Ways to Probe a Company's Culture
"A lofty compensation package, spiffy title, and corner office are all great characteristics to look for in a job—but if you're looking for a happy job, a great cultural fit is equally important."
Friday, April 6, 2012
Reasons You May Not Be Getting Promoted
If you’ve been on the job a while and you’re hard working, competent, and qualified but not getting promoted, you may be questioning why. A clear-cut answer isn’t always obvious; however, the following may help you identify some roadblocks.
Not Going Above and Beyond
You may be meeting all the responsibilities and requirements of your current job, but not going above and beyond or stretching yourself by taking on new tasks or projects. If so, you may be perceived as lacking initiative or interest in learning and professional development.
Low Visibility
If your work isn’t highly visible to those with influence in the company, such as senior management, or if your work isn’t directly supporting your manager’s goals, it may be going unnoticed.
The Expert
Are you the only one within the organization with the knowledge and skills to do your current job—in other words, the “expert”? If so, this may mean that the company can’t bear to lose the value you bring in your current role by promoting you to another job.
Burned Bridges
If you’ve been caught in the middle of company politics or were involved in a confrontation at work, particularly with someone of importance, you may have burned your bridges. In other words, that person may be opposing your advancement. Another way to burn bridges is having the reputation of being difficult to get along with.
Perception is Reality
If management perceives that you are not ready for a promotion, in all likelihood you will not get one. Ask yourself: Are you demonstrating leadership qualities? Can you think strategically and generate ideas for achieving the company’s goals? Work on developing the qualities or skills management would need to see from you to be considered for a promotion.
Not Going Above and Beyond
You may be meeting all the responsibilities and requirements of your current job, but not going above and beyond or stretching yourself by taking on new tasks or projects. If so, you may be perceived as lacking initiative or interest in learning and professional development.
Low Visibility
If your work isn’t highly visible to those with influence in the company, such as senior management, or if your work isn’t directly supporting your manager’s goals, it may be going unnoticed.
The Expert
Are you the only one within the organization with the knowledge and skills to do your current job—in other words, the “expert”? If so, this may mean that the company can’t bear to lose the value you bring in your current role by promoting you to another job.
Burned Bridges
If you’ve been caught in the middle of company politics or were involved in a confrontation at work, particularly with someone of importance, you may have burned your bridges. In other words, that person may be opposing your advancement. Another way to burn bridges is having the reputation of being difficult to get along with.
Perception is Reality
If management perceives that you are not ready for a promotion, in all likelihood you will not get one. Ask yourself: Are you demonstrating leadership qualities? Can you think strategically and generate ideas for achieving the company’s goals? Work on developing the qualities or skills management would need to see from you to be considered for a promotion.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
How to Deal With Difficult People
In an earlier blog post I discussed the 4-step approach to assertively request a change in behavior. As effective as this strategy may be, there are people - bosses, co-workers, mothers-in-law - where the strategy simply won't work. In these cases you will need to bring out emergency Step 5.
This final step of the process should only be used in extreme cases where earlier attempts at following the 4-step positive and assertive approach did not generate the results you desired. At this point you need to offer either rewards or consequences. Which of these two strategies you employ will depend on the situation and the person with whom you are dealing. Continuing on with the example from the earlier blog post, here are some examples of how you could offer the "office gossip" either a reward or consequence.
Reward: "If you are able to make the changes we discussed and are willing to stop talking about our co-workers when they are not part of the conversation, I know that our work environment will be so much more pleasant and productive."
Consequence: "If you are not willing to make the changes we discussed and are unwilling to stop talking about our co-workers when they are not part of the conversation, then I will be forced to take further action." At this point you need to clearly state the consequence, not as a threat, simply as a statement of fact, such as "I will have to inform Sarah, our supervisor, that our team dynamic is being compromised by your behavior."
It is imperative that you not make these promises lightly. Whether you are offering a reward or a consequence, if there is no behavior change and you do not follow through, all your efforts will be for naught.
Here are a few more ideas to help you deal with difficult people in all situations:
This final step of the process should only be used in extreme cases where earlier attempts at following the 4-step positive and assertive approach did not generate the results you desired. At this point you need to offer either rewards or consequences. Which of these two strategies you employ will depend on the situation and the person with whom you are dealing. Continuing on with the example from the earlier blog post, here are some examples of how you could offer the "office gossip" either a reward or consequence.
Reward: "If you are able to make the changes we discussed and are willing to stop talking about our co-workers when they are not part of the conversation, I know that our work environment will be so much more pleasant and productive."
Consequence: "If you are not willing to make the changes we discussed and are unwilling to stop talking about our co-workers when they are not part of the conversation, then I will be forced to take further action." At this point you need to clearly state the consequence, not as a threat, simply as a statement of fact, such as "I will have to inform Sarah, our supervisor, that our team dynamic is being compromised by your behavior."
It is imperative that you not make these promises lightly. Whether you are offering a reward or a consequence, if there is no behavior change and you do not follow through, all your efforts will be for naught.
Here are a few more ideas to help you deal with difficult people in all situations:
- Never approach a difficult person or situation when you are angry, upset, or stressed out. Walk away from a situation so that you can calm down, think about your approach, and speak in a planned manner.
- Try to see the situation from the other person's point of view. An assertive communicator goes into a situation or conversation believing that everyone intention's are good and trying to see the other person's side of the story.
- Treat the other person with respect. Never talk down to them or act as though they are incompetent or unworthy of your respect - no matter how you may feel inside. This will only escalate the problem.
- Know when to take your problem to the next level. If you have exhausted all your assertive communication options and the problem is not resolved, take the problem to your manager. However, make sure you have tried your best to handle the problem on your own first.
How to Dress Professionally When the Weather Heats Up
Post grads certainly know or must learn the importance of dressing professionally when interviewing or while on the job. Your resume might get trashed if you come to an interview dressed less than impressive or you can lose your credibility by dressing inappropriately at the office. Yet what do you do when the sun starts shining and you're always in tank tops and shorts in your free time? How do you look professional but not sweat to death?
1. First of all, when dressing for an interview, always dress professional and cover up. A few hours of being hot and uncomfortable are worth it because it may help you get the job. Suits for men or women are usually the best bet. Even if you discover the office is causal dress, you still want to be overly dressed in professional attire to show that you're serious.
2. If you have a job, check their dress code and ask questions if it seems unclear. It is better to check, ask co-workers or ask your boss if shorts or other hot weather clothing items are acceptable and appropriate before getting in trouble for wearing them.
3. Once you understand your company's dress code, now is an excuse to do a little shopping. Shop at stores that carry professional work attire with prices a post grad can afford such as JC Penney, Sears, or Kohl's. Remember, you don't need a ton of new outfits but a few key pieces that you can mix and match.
Good luck, post grad! When you look the part and know your stuff, you're sure to snag a job or go up the job ladder in no time.
1. First of all, when dressing for an interview, always dress professional and cover up. A few hours of being hot and uncomfortable are worth it because it may help you get the job. Suits for men or women are usually the best bet. Even if you discover the office is causal dress, you still want to be overly dressed in professional attire to show that you're serious.
2. If you have a job, check their dress code and ask questions if it seems unclear. It is better to check, ask co-workers or ask your boss if shorts or other hot weather clothing items are acceptable and appropriate before getting in trouble for wearing them.
3. Once you understand your company's dress code, now is an excuse to do a little shopping. Shop at stores that carry professional work attire with prices a post grad can afford such as JC Penney, Sears, or Kohl's. Remember, you don't need a ton of new outfits but a few key pieces that you can mix and match.
Good luck, post grad! When you look the part and know your stuff, you're sure to snag a job or go up the job ladder in no time.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
The 4-step Approach to Requesting a Behavior Change
We have all experienced a situation where we had a communication barrier or wanted to change a co-worker's or boss' negative behavior. Often, we blunder into this situation unsure how to handle it and the outcome is even worse than the original problem. Alternatively, we ignore the situation, hoping it will go away, and silently suffer. I would like to present you with a 4-step process that I used to teach in a professional communication course that I believe will work in most any situation.
Step 1 - Validate the Person.
People have filters in place that affect how they perceive communication, these could be the result of their attitude, prejudices, past experiences our other influences such as stress. You can not control their filters, but you can control your communication style. Keep your style assertive, yet positive. To start the conversation off on a positive note, start with the person's name, acknowledge their value and worth, and offer them a compliment.
"Sally, I really enjoy working with you because you are really good with diffusing upset customers and building customer relationships."
Step 2 - Objectively Describe the Situation
You can't hope to change the behavior unless you clearly and objectively describe the behavior. Don't use labels or inflammatory language. Simply state, in neutral terms, the behavior that you find upsetting or that you would like to change.
"We are a good team here at the ABC Company. When you say negative things about our co-workers and they are not around to hear them or to defend themselves . . . . (to be continued in Step 3).
Step 3 - Express your Feelings and Thoughts
Be very careful to use "I" statements in this step, never say "you make me feel." No one can make you feel something, you are in charge of your thoughts, emotions, and reactions. Remember to take accountability for your feelings, since you are the one asking for the change.
" . . . . I feel uncomfortable because I am afraid it might undermine our team environment."
Step 4 - Specify the Change you Would Like to See
At this point, you are able to ask for the change. The reason this is so effective is that you approach the issue from your point of view and ask the person to understand and accept your feelings. Most of the time, people don't think of how their actions affect others.
Ask the person for just one observable behavior change. What you ask for should be related to what you have been discussing and should be something with which you can both identify. Be sure to ask for the person's agreement with what you are asking before you end the conversation.
"I would like it if you would stop talking about other people when they are not a part of the conversation. I think that if we could all keep our negative thoughts or judgments to ourselves, we could be a much stronger team. Would you be willing to make this change, Sally?"
This approach is a very positive, professional, and assertive way of dealing with issues that works to protect the relationship of the two people talking. Of course it will not work every time. Some people are just difficult. Check back on Thursday for a discussion on what to do when the positive approach does not work.
Step 1 - Validate the Person.
People have filters in place that affect how they perceive communication, these could be the result of their attitude, prejudices, past experiences our other influences such as stress. You can not control their filters, but you can control your communication style. Keep your style assertive, yet positive. To start the conversation off on a positive note, start with the person's name, acknowledge their value and worth, and offer them a compliment.
"Sally, I really enjoy working with you because you are really good with diffusing upset customers and building customer relationships."
Step 2 - Objectively Describe the Situation
You can't hope to change the behavior unless you clearly and objectively describe the behavior. Don't use labels or inflammatory language. Simply state, in neutral terms, the behavior that you find upsetting or that you would like to change.
"We are a good team here at the ABC Company. When you say negative things about our co-workers and they are not around to hear them or to defend themselves . . . . (to be continued in Step 3).
Step 3 - Express your Feelings and Thoughts
Be very careful to use "I" statements in this step, never say "you make me feel." No one can make you feel something, you are in charge of your thoughts, emotions, and reactions. Remember to take accountability for your feelings, since you are the one asking for the change.
" . . . . I feel uncomfortable because I am afraid it might undermine our team environment."
Step 4 - Specify the Change you Would Like to See
At this point, you are able to ask for the change. The reason this is so effective is that you approach the issue from your point of view and ask the person to understand and accept your feelings. Most of the time, people don't think of how their actions affect others.
Ask the person for just one observable behavior change. What you ask for should be related to what you have been discussing and should be something with which you can both identify. Be sure to ask for the person's agreement with what you are asking before you end the conversation.
"I would like it if you would stop talking about other people when they are not a part of the conversation. I think that if we could all keep our negative thoughts or judgments to ourselves, we could be a much stronger team. Would you be willing to make this change, Sally?"
This approach is a very positive, professional, and assertive way of dealing with issues that works to protect the relationship of the two people talking. Of course it will not work every time. Some people are just difficult. Check back on Thursday for a discussion on what to do when the positive approach does not work.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Leadership Lessons from a YPO
After relocating to Minnesota over two years ago, I didn't know a soul. I had just begun a position at a local college and was slowly growing a social network there, but I desired to branch out and get to know others similar in age and industry. I had heard that the local Chamber of Commerce supported a young professionals organization (YPO) so I thought I would join to check it out and see how much my career would benefit from the opportunities they provided.
Lesson #1-Get involved: A lesson I had learned years ago, you can't expect someone to take you by the hand and guide you toward opportunities for leadership and civic participation. Proactively seek them out and-if they resonate with you-get on board with them.
I hadn't even gone to an event yet when they contacted the membership to solicit new applicants for their leadership council, the board-like entity that helped guide and direct the organization. With an air of "why not?", I shot them an application without really expecting to be accepted. In fact, I had just skimmed the email that informed me that I was accepted, almost deleting it. It looks like my gamble paid off, and I was about to go on a new leadership journey.
Lesson #2-Take the risk: In my mind I had nothing to lose and a lot to gain by becoming more involved with the organization. I didn't question my worthiness or buy in to any other self-created "rules" about why this group wouldn't benefit from my contribution. It's great to be a member of an organization, but joining its leadership team will provide even greater opportunities for personal growth.
I had been with the group for less than a year when one of the members wanted to coordinate an event for a week-long fundraising campaign for local nonprofits. Having been a transplant from St Louis, MO-home of the trivia night-I proposed that we coordinate one to raise money for another local organization. Together with a small group of volunteers from the YPO, we put on a wildly-successful trivia night that raised over $2000 for the organization, helping to put it in the black and helping our group gain more notoriety.
Lesson #3: Make your mark: Don't keep your ideas to yourself because you never know which ones may be the ones to take you and your group to another level.
There is something that you can take from every experience, so long as you stay aware of the possibilities presented to you and don't underestimate your impact. My résumé is much stronger due to my experience in this YPO. Stay aware, present, and go for the opportunities.
Lesson #1-Get involved: A lesson I had learned years ago, you can't expect someone to take you by the hand and guide you toward opportunities for leadership and civic participation. Proactively seek them out and-if they resonate with you-get on board with them.
I hadn't even gone to an event yet when they contacted the membership to solicit new applicants for their leadership council, the board-like entity that helped guide and direct the organization. With an air of "why not?", I shot them an application without really expecting to be accepted. In fact, I had just skimmed the email that informed me that I was accepted, almost deleting it. It looks like my gamble paid off, and I was about to go on a new leadership journey.
Lesson #2-Take the risk: In my mind I had nothing to lose and a lot to gain by becoming more involved with the organization. I didn't question my worthiness or buy in to any other self-created "rules" about why this group wouldn't benefit from my contribution. It's great to be a member of an organization, but joining its leadership team will provide even greater opportunities for personal growth.
I had been with the group for less than a year when one of the members wanted to coordinate an event for a week-long fundraising campaign for local nonprofits. Having been a transplant from St Louis, MO-home of the trivia night-I proposed that we coordinate one to raise money for another local organization. Together with a small group of volunteers from the YPO, we put on a wildly-successful trivia night that raised over $2000 for the organization, helping to put it in the black and helping our group gain more notoriety.
Lesson #3: Make your mark: Don't keep your ideas to yourself because you never know which ones may be the ones to take you and your group to another level.
There is something that you can take from every experience, so long as you stay aware of the possibilities presented to you and don't underestimate your impact. My résumé is much stronger due to my experience in this YPO. Stay aware, present, and go for the opportunities.
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