Five Tips for Building Mental Strength in Your Career and in Life

It is inevitable that we experience setbacks in our lives and our careers. Success requires failure, and it necessitates failing many times and trying again after each disappointment or difficulty.

A Japanese proverb encourages us to "fall seven times, stand up eight."

We must develop mental strength in order deal with the failures and setbacks we experience in our personal and professional lives if we want to see those failures lead to success and positive outcomes. Too many of us retreat from failure, allowing it to define us, or allow difficulties to make us feel trapped, unworthy, and unable to move forward and reach our goals.

Instead we need to continually work to develop our mental strength and the following five practices will help do just that.

Let go. Put the past behind you and move on from your previous failures and disappointments. Learn what you need from them but don't be held back or defined by setbacks. This might require you to focus on changing your thoughts when you are troubled by the failures of the past. Telling yourself something simple like "that is behind me and today is a new and successful day" can be a effective technique to change your focus from the past to the present.

Practice meditation. Take some time each day, preferably just after you wake up, to set your day with some mindful meditation. Focus on breathing deeply and use this time for prayer or to repeat a short mantra that inspires you. This practice will help calm you, give you greater clarity of purpose, and will put your thoughts in a positive place to start the day.

Surround yourself with like-minded people. It's very important to have friends and colleagues around who encourage and inspire you. Be around people who understand the importance of taking risks and failing, who applaud you for taking action and trying something new. It is equally important to avoid time with people who frequently complain, are negative, discourage you from going after your dreams, or seem to take some pleasure in pointing out your weaknesses and failings.

Watch what you take in. We are what we eat and we are what we consume through the books we read, the movies we watch, the podcasts or radio programs we listen to, or the music we enjoy. Eating healthy food and surrounding ourselves with positive and encouraging media can be a tremendous source of strength, similar to being around a wise mentor or a great friend.

Act and fail and act and succeed, and be grateful for it all. The process of taking some action, of failing and getting back up, and trying again, and achieving some success builds our mental strength and enables us to continue to act, fail, and succeed. Pay attention to the process, and work at enjoying all of it, while expressing gratitude for what you're building and the strong and resilient person you're becoming.

The 5-step Recovery Strategy for When You Make a Mistake at Work

You may have noticed that the title says "when" you make a mistake and not "if" you make a mistake. We all make mistakes, some are just more serious than others and some are just more public - I'm talking to you Lance Armstrong - than others. There will come a day when you make a workplace error, so you might as well be proactive and use this 5-step strategy to correct the mistake when it does happen.

Own up to it. We are often disappointed when we hear of people making mistakes. However, I feel the issue is made worse by first denying the issue, then later coming out and not only having to admit the mistake, but also admit to lying. Unless your error is insignificant and will have no long-lasting repercussions, tell your supervisor about the issue immediately so that it is not discovered by someone else.

Solve your own problems. When I was a manager, I always told the people who worked with me that they could come to me with any issue. However, I also told them that they were not allowed to dump their issue in my lap; they must come with a potential solution in mind. Before you go to your boss to admit your mistake, take time to research to effect of the gaffe and outline a plan to correct the mistake that includes any potential costs to your employer.

Don't point fingers. There may be others who share your responsibility for the issue at hand. You should go to them and encourage them to follow your example and admit their role in the problem. However, when you point fingers, you only make yourself look worse.

Go above and beyond to correct the mistake. If your plan for correction includes an expenditure of time, try to do it on your own time. Offer to work through lunch, stay late, or work on weekends; just don't expect to be paid extra for the time it will take to correct your mistake.

Don't dwell on the problem. Lance Armstrong admitted his mistake and apologized for what he did. However, I don't expect him to continue to apologize and castigate himself every time he opens his mouth from here on. Once you admit your mistake and take corrective actions, you must move on, forgive yourself, and ensure you have learned from your mistake so it does not happen again.

The Power of Failure. How to Turn a Mistake into a Positive Experience.

I love constructive feedback. To me, having someone help me see my weaknesses is akin to finding ways to get  better at what I do. I am not a glutton for punishment; I enjoy compliments as much as the next person. However, I think when I fail - as long as I face it with the right attitude - I become better during my next attempt. Here are some ideas on how to turn your failures into a learning experience.

Take an Outside Look at Your Actions
I often find myself surrounded by finger-pointers. When something goes wrong there are few people willing to step forward and admit to a mistake or failure, they instead get defensive. Try to separate your feelings when you respond to a mistake. Look at your actions from the outside, evaluate your actions as though they were made by someone else, and acknowledge your failure without trying to self-justify.

Actually Listen to Other People's Feedback
When we don't like the negative things that people tell us, we tend to dismiss them or chalk them up to the other person's shortcomings. Practice actually hearing criticisms from others and practice listening to that criticism without taking it personally. Ask questions of your critic to find out how they think you can do things differently the next time. Use this information to find ways that you can improve.

Surround Yourself with Informed, Trustworthy Peers
We all enjoy praise, but I only want sincere kudos that I have earned. Gather a trusted "advisory board" of peers that will give you honest feedback on when you have succeeded, when you have failed, and why they feel this way. Having the honest, frank and compassionate opinion of people you trust is an invaluable way to ensure you keep growing.