5 Ways to Rebuild Your Career After Personal Failure

Over the last year we’ve seen a number of high-profile men ousted from positions of power in the wake of the #metoo movement and increased (and necessary) attention to sexual harassment and abuse, particularly in the workplace. Matt Lauer, Louise C.K., Bill O’Reilly, Charlie Rose, and many others, have lost jobs and are seeking to make a comeback.

For every famous person who has seen their career go up in smoke, there are countless others who don’t make the news, and many ways beyond harassment to blow up a career.

When our personal failures lead to career failure how do we rebuild our lives, careers, and reputation? Let’s consider a few steps.

Own it. This might be the most difficult part of the process and our first inclination is usually to defend ourselves, but we must take responsibility for our actions. It does no good to deny or minimize our behavior and will only result in prolonging our career (and personal) problems.

Part of owning it requires us also to accept the consequences and learn from them without blaming others for our failures. When we take full responsibility, making restitution when possible, we can then move on to the next step.

Change. Our failures are a clear indication of the issues in our lives that we must change. And the change must be genuine and involve accountability. Often this change cannot happen alone and requires us to seek out help, usually in the form of therapy, a support group, or from a mentor.

Change takes time and is hard work. We must do the work if we truly want to rebuild our career and reputation.

  

Be patient, vulnerable & authentic. There is no defined time period for change to occur but know this: if you have a long-established pattern of inappropriate or unethical behavior, it will take considerably longer than you think for real, lasting change to occur in your life.

Therefore, be patient and vulnerable as you work through your issues and authentically share your struggle with those closest to you. But keep a low profile and avoid making a pronouncement that you’ve been “cured” or have changed. Let others make that judgment based on your behavior.

Humility. When we’ve abused our authority or engaged in unethical behavior in the workplace it’s unreasonable to assume we should return to a position with similar status or levels of authority. Accept that you will need to prove yourself again and be willing to demonstrate humility by working in a job or position that could be considered a step (or multiple steps) down. 

And don’t expect to be quickly promoted or restored to your previous position. Accept that you’re in the place you need to be now while you work to regain trust and rebuild your reputation.

Work hard. This should go without saying, but your focus on the job should be on how to do outstanding work. Make an effort to be recognized by the quality of your work and your integrity on the job.

Following these guidelines will put you on the path to restoring your career and reputation.

How to Practice Self-Care After Losing a Job

Losing a job ranks rights up there--along with death, divorce, or a move--as one of the most stressful and difficult times in a person’s life. 

A job loss can lead to anger, depression, and solitude and it’s very important to develop healthy habits during this time of unemployment.

Take the following steps to create a regime of self-care.

Focus on friends and family. Seek out and spend time with those you are closest to. Meet up with a best friend for a regular lunch appointment and spend some extra time with family. Be open with those close to you about how you’re experiencing the job loss and accept the support of others.

Let’s get physical. Pay attention to your health. Now you have some additional time to ensure you can fit in a daily exercise routine, whether it’s yoga at a nearby studio, joining a local fitness club, biking across town, or simply taking a brisk walk around the neighborhood. This time will also stimulate creativity and just might stimulate some ideas regarding your next career move.

Embrace the pillow. Get adequate sleep. Make an effort to avoid staying up late to watch television or staying on a computer or mobile too long getting lost in the world of social media. Instead, go to your library and pick out some great books to read in the evening before falling asleep. Good sleep will provide you with energy and a positive attitude to continue on with the other healthy practices your implementing.

Resist the bottle. This is a time to avoid excessive alcohol consumption. Drinking will not change your situation and will only make it more difficult to practice other healthy habits. This might be a great time to avoid alcohol and instead make a switch to a healthier diet that make you feel more energized and optimistic about your situation.

Turn down the pressure. Take some time to minimize expectations and resist the temptation to put too much pressure on yourself to find a new job or make a decision about a career path. It can be difficult to make clear-headed decisions when we feel under pressure. Implement a daily practice of calm breathing, meditation, prayer, and positive affirmations to quiet the voices in your head, reduce the pressure, and set aside expectations.

When you develop habits of self-care—deepening your friendships, getting adequate sleep and exercise, eating well, and developing positive thinking patterns—you’ll be better equipped to handle a period of unemployment or under-employment.

4 Things to do Following a Job Loss

Change happens frequently in business today and that means one day you might be the one getting notice that your services are no longer needed.

Getting laid off from a job is not fun or easy but there are some things you can do to make this time more productive for you and ease your transition into a new job or career.

1. Give yourself a break. Following a layoff you might feel a lot of different emotions: shock, sadness, relief, anxiety, anger. These are all normal feelings and you should allow yourself to feel what you feel without any guilt. Take the time you need to work through your emotions and avoid making decisions when feeling angry or anxious. 

2. Evaluate. Take some time to think about your last job. What did you like about it? What did you dislike? Was it a good fit for your skills and interests? Is there something else you're passionate about doing with your career? Now is a good time to consider making the career move you've been dreaming about.

3. Get organized. When your life is organized you tend to have more energy and initiative to get

things done. So take some time to organize your home and your office. You can even take time to organize your work and career life by updating your resume and linkedIn profile.

4. Reach out. As appropriate, stay in touch with former employers and request recommendations on linkedIn. Ask your former manager to be a reference as you look for new employment. Also reach out to your network of family and friends and get the emotional support you need, while also requesting any leads on work that might be of interest to you.

Losing a job is difficult and confusing but focusing on the four things above can make the transition to satisfying new work easier.

High 5 Weekly Career Transitions Roundup: Habits for Success and Eliminating Soul-Crushing Habits

This is our weekly roundup of some of the best career-related articles, interviews, blogs, etc., we've read during the week. We share these every weekend so you have some great resources to prepare you for the coming week. Enjoy!

© Bellemedia | Stock Free Images & Dreamstime Stock Photos

• What to Do If You Lose Your Job: "No matter how tough the economy, there are ways to stand out among the competition and start the next chapter of your life."

• The One Thing Successful People Do Every Day: "Well, here’s the one personal branding habit you can’t be too busy for."                                                      
• 6 Soul-Crushing Career Habits You Should Break Right Now: "Never underestimate the importance of what you have to contribute."


• Taking Care of Yourself, Then Business: "Make time for exercise just as you would for the most critical part of your work. You won’t be as effective, at least not for long, unless you take care of yourself first."


• Three Things that Actually Motivate Employees: "Clarity about how your products or services can improve the world provides guideposts for employees’ priorities and decisions. As part of the daily conversation, mission and purpose can make even mundane tasks a means to a larger end."

Dealing with Loss and Tragedy

It has been a rough couple of months - both in our nation and for me personally. As our nation reels from storms, terror attacks, and other tragedies I have been experiencing deaths, cancer diagnoses, break-ups, divorces and job losses among family and friends. The bad news has left me looking for ways to help people deal with loss and heartbreak. Since this is a blog dedicated to career services, I will relate it to that type of loss. However, I hope it can be helpful to you whenever you experience grief and loss.

Heartbreak from a job loss is different that the loss of a job, but it is no less painful and stressful. The five stages of grief are often experienced for someone who has lost their job, the same way someone who has lost a loved one. However, the laid off or terminated employee's cycle of dealing with their grief must often be accelerated in order to help them get back into the workforce and earning a living.

Stage 1 - Denial
Often this comes as refusing to accept or acknowledge the loss. We tell ourselves "this can't possibly be happening" in order to let our mind accept the truth. A few years ago my husband called me on my birthday to tell me he had just been laid off. My first words to him were, "You're kidding right?" Of course I knew he would never joke about such a thing - especially on my birthday - but denial is where my brain naturally went first. Our jobs mean quite a lot to us - some more than others - and it is okay to feel loss, grief, and anger, but we must accept the truth in order to move forward.

Stage 2/3 - Anger and Bargaining
Our natural reaction in this stage is to look for someone to blame. In the case of a job loss, it is important to evaluate if you had some part in the process so that you can learn from your mistakes. However, often job loss is outside of our control - the company simply could no longer afford your salary or no longer needed your services. It is important to forgive those involved with the job loss - that includes yourself, your boss, and the company. Holding on to anger during a job loss is not healthy and will hurt you in an interview.

In a job loss, often anger and bargaining can happen interchangeably. We try to talk our way out of being let go, try to beg or plead with them to keep our job, or we waste time wishing things were different.

Stage 4 - Depression
Depression after a job loss can be debilitating. If we are feeling depressed, hopeless, frustrated, or simply feeling sorry for ourselves it can be very difficult to put ourselves out there in the job market where we are open to more possible rejection. It is very important to surround yourself with positive, supportive people and to keep yourself active with hobbies, exercise, and networking activities. Keep in mind, no matter the type of loss you have experienced, there are people out there who have dealt with the same type of pain. In many cases, they are more than willing to help you if you just ask.

Stage 5 - Acceptance
It is hard to move on and regain employment without this stage. Accept that you are a talented person that will find their place in another organization. Try to find the good that can come from your loss. See this as a chance to meet new people, find new opportunities, and gain new skills and experience.


No matter what type of loss you are experiencing, give yourself permission to experience all the different stages. It is a natural progression. However, you must hold yourself accountable to make it through all the stages so that you can finally move on.

The 5 Stages of Job Loss Grief

The chances are very good that you or someone you know has recently lost their job or will lose their job at some time. Just last week, a member of my family lost her job. In her words, it was "completely out of the blue." People tend to grieve the loss of a job in some of the same ways as grieving the loss of someone we care about. After all, many of us find our identity in our careers. Here are the 5 stages of job loss grief you may experience.

Stage 1 - Shock and Denial
Whether the writing was on the wall or not, we are almost always shocked when it happens to us. Of course, you can't truly deny the fact you are being laid off. However, thoughts of "I can't believe they are letting me go" and "They will not be able to live without me" go through our minds in this stage. Much of the time, I hear from people who were so shocked and numb in the lay off meeting, they forget to ask important questions such as benefits extensions, severance, and requests for letters of recommendation.

Stage 2 - Anger
The other day, when my family member was laid off, she was very unhappy to find that even though she was a director, the company had someone escort her to her desk and watched over her carefully while she packed. Of course, this made her very upset. It is okay to feel anger, it is an important part of the healing process. However, never burn a bridge - that person you "tell off" could very well be an excellent source of referral down the road.

Step 3 - Bargaining
Don't get mired in asking yourself the "what if . . . " or musing about the "if only . . ." typical bargaining with yourself questions. Instead focus your energy on bargaining your severance package. My family member I mentioned earlier negotiated an additional month of severance pay and benefits extension.

Step 4 - Depression
People tend to take lay-offs very personal. You have to keep in mind that this is not personal, it is not a reflection of your value, it is simply a business decision based on the company's financial status. It is important to have an updated resume at all times so you can avoid wallowing in self-pity and instead focus on getting back into the job market.

Step 5 - Acceptance
I am one of those people who believes that everything happens for a reason. I just wish the universe would share its motivations with me once in a while! Accept the reality of the situation and use it as a springboard for a new chapter in your career. You may be in for some rough times, but with a great resume and perseverance you will land on your feet again soon.

Regain Confidence Following a Job Loss

Job loss can take a heavy toll on an individual’s self-esteem and may negatively impact that person’s confidence during a job search. If this happens to you, the following may help you regain your confidence and land a job you desire.

Focus on Strengths and Accomplishments

If you’ve lost your job, you may also have lost sight of your strengths and the value you can bring to an organization. If so, it’s time to make a list of all your strengths and professional accomplishments so you can play these up in your resume, cover letters, and interviews. Rebuild your confidence by reviewing your list regularly.

Be Mindful of Your Language

Confidence, or lack thereof, is often demonstrated in your verbal and body language. Consider what your words, tone of voice, and body language may be telling a prospective employer. Employers look for job candidates who are confident in their job skills and persuasive about their ability to do the job. Practice interviewing; focus on using positive word choices and declarative statements like, “I have the experience and skills to do this job.”

Make Sure Your Internal Voice is Positive

When a person is unemployed, his/her internal messaging can be negatively focused on shortcomings or past mistakes. It is very important to change this negative to be more positive. Shift your mindset to focusing on your past successes, your strengths, and the opportunities that lie ahead.

Don’t Take It Personally

It’s difficult, but don’t personalize it if you were part of a company’s downsizing or when a job offer from a new employer has yet to come your way. Several factors impact a company’s decision to lay off or to make job offers, and many of these have no reflection on your abilities. You can’t change the past, so keep your attention on the future as you market and sell your experience and skills to prospective employers.

Remember too, don’t be afraid to turn to family and friends─or even a professional resource, like a psychologist─for emotional support after a job loss and to help you get back on track and regain your confidence.