High 5 Weekly Career Transitions Roundup: Why Are We Bad at Choosing the Right Job?

This is our weekly roundup of some of the best career-related articles, interviews, blogs, etc., we've read during the week. We share them so you have some great resources to prepare you for the coming week. Enjoy!

• Why Are We So Bad at Choosing the Right Job?: "When it comes to jobs and careers, it is really a case of 'better the devil you know.' You can put people in meaningless roles and under bad managers, and they will still be reluctant to try something else."

• How a Classroom Mindset Can Help You Achieve Lasting Change: "If you want to experience significant, lasting change in your life, try mapping out your goal as if you were going back to school to achieve it."

• 9 Ways to Handle Job-Related Stress: "It didn't take long before people realized that simultaneously looking through their desk drawer, speaking on the phone and answering email caused their speed and accuracy (not to mention sanity) to plummet."

• 8 Tips for Developing Collaborative Leadership at Work: "This is leadership that not only gradually dissolves into something more sociable and harmonious, but also more efficient, creative and ready for whatever comes next."
• 9 Phrases to Avoid in Conversation:"While you may be indifferent to the question, your opinion is important to the person asking (or else he wouldn’t have asked you in the first place)."

High 5 Weekly Career Transitions Roundup: Lessons from a World War II General

This is our weekly roundup of some of the best career-related articles, interviews, blogs, etc., we've read during the week. We share them so you have some great resources to prepare you for the coming week. Enjoy!

• Leadership Lessons from a World War II General: "Next time your team is in dire straits, demonstrate fierce optimism in the face of overwhelming odds and gauge its effect. I bet that you will be surprised by how contagious optimistic leadership can be and by the incredible influence it can have on a team."

• We Need to Change the Conversation Around Motherhood & Work: "To make significant progress, we have to work together and change the conversation. That means seeing mothers as more than just mothers, and acknowledging that their identity outside of being a parent is just as important."

• A Simple Technique to Improve Your Communication: "Subheads are words or short phrases that help to group paragraphs together and introduce new pieces of information. They also visually break up large pieces of text, helping your reader digest information."

• 14 Morning Routine Hacks to Boost Productivity: "The good news is that some morning "best practices" have been shown to help successful business moguls and entrepreneurs make the most of their time and energy."
• The Need to Become More Collaborative in Business:"A truly connected value chain means businesses can innovate more quickly and provide better – and more ethical – products and services to increasingly demanding customers."

How to Lose Friends & Coworkers in the Work Place

 

There are some sure-fire ways to antagonize your co-workers and colleagues and you likely know one or two people you’d prefer not to work with.

It’s always good to evaluate our behavior at work to confirm we’re not making our co-worker’s lives more difficult. And if you are new to a workplace ensure that the following behaviors do not become part of your routine.

Be late for meetings. Your colleagues value their time and don’t want to spend any additional time in meetings. So, avoid tardiness so you don’t develop the habit of being the one person everyone is constantly waiting for.

Have a negative attitude. No one wants to work with a person who sees the negative in everything, always knows why every project will fail, or believes the company is going bankrupt. A negative attitude will make it difficult to advance in your career.

Fail to meet deadlines. When you have coworkers depending on you to complete a project you need to … complete the project. On time. Few failures will alienate you faster at work than failing to deliver on your promises and projects. You’ll soon wonder why key assignments are not coming your way.

Communicate poorly. Success at work and on the job requires the ability to communicate clearly and well with colleagues and clients, both in person and in writing. It can be incredibly frustrating to deal with a co-worker who struggles to effectively communicate and can slow down work on projects.

Gossip about your co-workers. When you’re told something in confidence, whether from a co-worker, or some insider company info, it’s important to be able to hold that information privately, rather than sharing it with others or spreading gossip. Developing a reputation as a gossip is a sure-fire way to sabotage your career and prevent opportunities for advancement.

There are many other ways to alienate your co-workers—leaving a mess in co-working spaces, heating up that salmon leftover in the microwave in your kitchenette, or clipping toe nails at your desk—but you're probably savvy enough to figure those out on your own.

5 Ways to be More Successful & Confident at Work

If you care about your career and work performance (and you likely do since you’re reading this) you want to be more confident and successful in your work.

There are some basic principles we can implement into our lives to make our work experiences more successful so let’s consider a few of these.

Preparation. To be successful we need to prepare for success. Sure, we’ve all crammed for an exam in school, staying up late one night to try to be ready, but long-term, lasting success requires a practice of preparation: studying the sales figures in the spreadsheet, learning the new program, practicing the speech, or taking the class. We must put the work in. There are no shortcuts.

Support. Successful people recognize the truth behind the old adage that “no man is an island” and ensure that they are surrounded by a support system that encourages them to be at their best. Your support team should include your family, friends, colleagues, and a mentor. You might consider your faith community to be part of your support system, along with the men and women on your co-ed softball team.

Habits. Your daily habits should support your career, including what you drink and eat, the amount of sleep and exercise you get, along with your mental habits such as self-talk and meditation. Develop a regular routine of self-care to increase your confidence and energy levels.

Attire. Dress for success by wearing attire appropriate for your job and consistent with the position you want to attain. It’s difficult to be taken seriously at work if you do not pay attention to your appearance so ensure that you look sharp and maintain good hygiene. You’ll feel more confident in your job by looking the part.

Communication. Success at work often comes down to effective communication skills, whether you’re coaching a team, lecturing in front of a class, or speaking on the phone with an irate customer, the ability to effectively hear and communicate will determine your success. Make a serious effort to improve your communication skills, both verbal and written, and you will have increased confidence in your work and experience greater success.

What are you doing to build confidence and set yourself up for success at work?

High Five Weekly Career Transitions Roundup: 4 Ways to Spring Clean Your Mental Habits

This is our weekly roundup of some of the best career-related articles, interviews, blogs, etc., we've read during the week. We share them so you have some great resources to prepare you for the coming week. Enjoy!

• 4 Ways to Spring Clean Your Mental Habits: "It’s time to take out the dust rag and clean up your mental china cabinet full of criticism, little slights and anxious moments. It’s easy to hold on to a negative performance review or a scowl on the subway from a stranger. But when you do this, you overlook all of the positive comments that are flowing into your life."

• 4 Ways to Teach Your Kids About Work: "They worry that they aren’t spending enough time with their children, and they’d like to help their children learn from their experience and avoid mistakes they’ve made."

• 4 Questions Every Great Leader Should Be Able to Answer: "A leadership philosophy is, in essence, your operating manual. This is how I think, act, and react. This is how we will work together."

• Complaining is Lethal for Your Productivity & Your Business: "We've all heard that venting helps us release stress and move forward, but science says it's actually hurting our productivity."
• 3 Tips to Have Better Conversations & Reduce Awkwardness: "Having weak social ties was as harmful to health as alcoholism and equivalent to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day."

4 Ways to Show You’re Ready to Become a Manager

In many companies the path to the executive suite leads through a management job, and even if you don’t aspire to become a CEO, moving into a management role can be a great career move, leading to additional opportunities along the way.

If you’re interested in making the leap from regular employee to supervisor or manager consider the following steps to show you’re ready for the move.

Excel in your current work. There is no point in aspiring to a promotion to management if you’re not doing a great job in your current position. It can be easy to rationalize and make excuses: I’d be excellent at my work if only I could get promoted to manager. This position doesn’t suit my strengths. That may be true but you will not get an opportunity to demonstrate leadership skills without first demonstrating excellence along the way, even while performing the most insignificant of tasks. If you wish to become a manager commit yourself to excellence today. 

Oversee a cross-functional team. A good way to demonstrate effective leadership and management skills is to take the initiative and offer to lead a cross-functional team or project. This will provide you with good practice in management, dealing with a diverse range of personalities, and collaborating to see a project through to its conclusion.

Demonstrate good communication skills. Good managers are good at communicating and in order to move into a management position you need to learn how to communicate clearly and effectively: in person, over the phone, and by email. Good communicators are good at listening and really hearing what others say, in order to support them well. You will never be ready more management (or be a good manager) if you haven’t mastered the art of communication and active listening.

Practice serving others. The best leaders and managers are not in it to make a name for themselves or to bring attention to their own efforts. They seek to build up others around them, to develop the strengths of the members of their team, and to support their staff to meet the goals of the team. The best managers are focused on others and look to lead by serving them.

Turn your attention to these areas and your company might just tap you for the next management position that comes available.

5 Tips to Communicate Effectively By Email

If you’re like many of us your email inbox is overloaded with messages you’ve been planning to respond to for days (or maybe weeks?) and sometimes it feels like our lives are run by email or text.

There are definitely some benefits to email (its speed and the ability to communicate with a group, for example) but unless we understand how to email effectively we’re just contributing to an overload of unnecessary communication crowding our inbox.

Here are several tips for communicating more effectively by email.

Write a clear subject line. Ensure that the person you’re communicating with can understand the purpose of your message by looking at the email subject line. It also helps you to organize and archive your emails more effectively. Instead of using “hey” as your subject consider something more specific like “Question about Project XYZ” or “Status of budget on Project ABC”.

To avoid miscommunication write in complete sentences. It’s difficult enough to communicate clearly and effectively in complete sentences but it’s made even more difficult when we write in half sentences with questionable grammar, or utilize slang or emojis. Keep your communication clear and brief and not only will you communicate more effectively with your colleagues, but you’ll likely also have a leaner inbox.  

Only include those who need to see the email. Too often we resort to cc:ing too many people in emails, resulting in frustration for those who don’t really need to see a string of fifty messages on a subject they have no direct involvement with. Limit your emails to those who need to know.

Tag important emails when needed. If your email is important use a tag to indicate its high priority and in your message be sure to let the reader know of the significance of your request or information. Another option is to make a note in the subject line that you require a response. Your subject line might read: “Status update needed for Project XYZ; response needed within 24 hours”.

Handle more complicated discussions in person or by phone. Of course, when necessary and possible, stop by your colleague’s desk or give them a call. It can be frustrating to get an email asking a simple question from the colleague sitting in the cubicle next to you. For more detailed discussions email is not effective. Set up a face-to-face meeting or a conference call, and then follow-up with the key points in an email to ensure clarity on key points.

Finally, take initiative and only email when necessary. In some situations you simply need to act and sometimes we email others out of uncertainty about our level of authority or knowledge on a project. Limit your emails and learn to communicate more clearly and effectively and you’ll make your work life more efficient, while also improving your work environment for your colleagues.

High 5 Weekly Career Transitions Roundup: 12 Tips for College Grads Entering the Workforce

This is our weekly roundup of some of the best career-related articles, interviews, blogs, etc., we've read during the week. We share them so you have some great resources to prepare you for the coming week. Enjoy!

• 12 Tips for College Grads Entering the Workforce: "Make sure to take risks, make mistakes, then learn from them. Each experience, no matter how awful it might feel at the moment, is going to be a powerful learning experience for you in the future."

• 6 Daily Practices of Great Leaders: "A great leader is always enlisting other people to believe in the dream, shape the dream, stay dedicated to the dream. It’s an honest and authentic and genuine desire to see other people be involved in the process and to enjoy that process."

• The Essential To-Do List for New Leaders: "In short, you need to establish the rules of engagement out of the gate so people understand how the flow of communication is going to work and how much time you are going to spend seeking input. By managing their expectations, you manage their fear."

• 3 Things You Need to Do to Avoid Hitting a Career Plateau: "How you communicate is crucially important. Instead of focusing on what you transmit, make sure the message is received."
• 6 Perfect Ways to Start Your Day: "Checking a dreaded item off your to-do list gives you a lift and a feeling of accomplishment that carries you through the rest of the day."

Five Qualities to Demonstrate at Your Next Job Interview

Making the right hire is a tricky business and some managers are better at it than others. It can seem that too often hiring becomes a popularity contest or is all about who you know, rather than about what you, the candidate, have to offer.

Here are five qualities that are irresistible to employers and will have you in demand if you can effectively demonstrate that you possess them. And if you're a hiring manager keep this qualities front of mind when making hiring decisions and you'll find more success at making the right hires.

Initiative. Be prepared to provide examples of situations in your career when you identified a problem and went about devising a solution without being told to do this by someone else. Great employees identify needs in companies and find ways to meet those needs. They don't wait for someone to assign a task to them. If you can demonstrate a track record of taking initiative you'll have one foot in the door.

Curiosity. Every good business owner or manager wants employees and staff who take an interest in the company and its processes. Are you someone who gets to know colleagues in other areas of the company and regularly seeks out opportunities to learn more about the business? In addition, show how your curiosity about the field you're in leads you to stay on top of news in your industry, related industries, and with competitors.

Communication skills. In your interview you want to demonstrate how to effectively communicate with everyone you meet. This starts with the first person who greets you at the door and continues after your interview with effective follow-up, including a gracious "thank you" note to your interviewer. Your communication skills should be on display in every interaction, whether verbally or in writing with your resume, cover letter, or follow-up emails.

Project management. Your next manger or supervisor will want to know that when you are assigned a simple task or a complex project that you can effectively manage it and complete it on time and according to any specifications you've been provided. Be prepared with clear examples of how you successfully manage projects of varying complexity, and utilize some of the skills and qualities mentioned above.

Stress management. You might be great at completing tasks and projects but you drive everyone crazy with the amount of stress and anxiety you place on yourself and others. Provide some examples of how you manage self-care, work-life balance, and deal with the everyday stresses and anxieties that come with work in a fast-paced environment.

Be prepared to show how you demonstrate these five qualities at your next job interview and you'll be closer to landing that new job.

4 Tips for Writing Effective Emails at Work

Communication skills can make or break a career and one of the most basic, and overlooked, forms of communication in the workplace is email.

Many people, unthinkingly, jot out their emails in haste, not realizing that they could be damaging their reputations and careers by ineffectively, or rudely, communicating with colleagues.

Here are four tips to avoid that and ensure that your emails enhance, rather than harm, your career.

1. Delay emails when frustrated or angry. Many of us do just the opposite: we receive an email that appears to criticize us or demean an accomplishment and we angrily dash off a snarky email in response. In fact, many of these situations would be best handled with a face-to-face conversation but, if you must reply by email, take some time to calm down and relax, write a brief email, and perhaps even suggest a meeting in person to discuss the issue in more detail.

2. Send email only to the individuals who really need to receive it. We've all been on the receiving end of email strings that go to large groups and are largely irrelevant to the majority of people who are cc:d. Don't be like this; it only annoys colleagues. Be sure to send your emails only to those most impacted by your email. 

3. Be clear about the focus of your email. Write a clear, brief, and specific message in the subject line of your email. This will help your readers understand the content and priority of your message.

4. Write brief messages. An email should not be a lengthy report. It should, in fact, be brief and to the point. "I am working on A, B, and C", for example, or "Our priorities for the week should be X, Y, and Z." Use short, concise, and clear statements for your readers and use language that appears courteous, rather than curt and rude.

Focusing on these four tips will increase your effectiveness when communicating by email. 

5 Enemies to Success in Your Career and Life

There are a number of factors, qualities, and characteristics necessary to be successful in your career and in life. You need to have the necessary knowledge and skills, along with determination and hard work.

But there are also enemies to success that you'll encounter and will need to overcome. Let's take a look at five of these enemies to your success in career and life and consider ways to defeat them.

1. Lack of focus. It's difficult to be successful if you don't focus daily on what is truly important to your success. Many of us get distracted by unnecessary tasks instead of staying keyed in on what is necessary. To help with this stay off of social media when you're working and avoid multi-tasking. Complete one task at a time without distractions before moving on to something else.

2. Lack of effective communication skills. If you communicate in ways that are unclear, rude, or condescending it will be difficult to succeed in life and work. You need the support of others to succeed and you must be able to clearly articulate your vision in ways that motivate and encourage others rather than alienate them.

3. Lack of energy. It will be nearly impossible to be successful if you lack energy and enthusiasm to follow-through on your plans. This requires you to get an appropriate amount of sleep, eat well, avoid excessive alcohol intake, and get some exercise.

4. Lack of direction. Similar to lack of focus is lack of direction but lack of direction is related to the big picture: where do you see yourself in 5-10 years? What is it exactly that you want to accomplish? To hit a goal you first have to set a goal. Without a clear direction your work will be aimless and without any real sense of purpose. Get clear on your mission and goals and you'll have a better shot at the success you want.

5. Lack of support. There are no "self-made" men or women. We all need the support and encouragement of a team around us. Make an effort to develop a strong support system around you, including family, friends, mentors, and colleagues, and you'll find that you are already successful.

5 Tips to Develop a Reputation for Kind and Generous Communication Skills

Based on the current political environment you might be mistaken for thinking the best way to become a success in your life and career is to belittle those who stand in your way, and speak rudely of the so-called competition.

However, you'll find true success when you develop a reputation for kindness and generosity in the way you communicate with others.

1. Say thank you. Be gracious toward others for their time and generosity. If someone takes the time to interview you for a new position or if someone provides a reference for you, be sure to thank them for their time and effort.

2. Apologize. We all make mistakes and we all sometimes treat people in ways we wish that we hadn't. In those circumstances we need to be sure to apologize to those we've hurt and offended.

3. Promote the accomplishments of others. Give credit where credit is due. Don't hog all the credit for your successes and accomplishments. You did not succeed only on your own efforts. Be sure to acknowledge those who have contributed to your success. And also promote the successes of others, even when it has nothing to do with you. Making the effort to support others will help diminish a tendency toward jealousy.

4. Speak kindly of your enemies. Many people have burned a few bridges along the way, or been fired from a job, or argued with a previous employer. Train yourself to speak kindly of those who might have treated you poorly. It's a small world and you might find yourself working with them again so work to think and speak well of others, even those you did not get along with.

5. Encourage others. Be known as one who encourages the best in others rather than one who tears others down or belittles them. When you focus on the positive and encourage others you bring out the best in them and in yourself.

4 Soft Skills You Need to Develop for Your Career

In surveys employers and businesses often note that many applicants are lacking soft skills they deem necessary. Even many job postings will note the soft skills an employer is seeking, in addition to the technical skills and mastery required of the job.

Below are 4 soft skills to develop and highlight in a job interview, along with several tips to improve these skills.

1. Communication. It's important to write professional emails, speak appropriately on the phone, and look people in the eye and shake hands firmly when meeting and speaking in person. Watch others who are good communicators and model their behaviors. Ensure that your emails include a greeting a and a closing. You might also consider joining a local Toastmasters to develop your communication skills.

2. Initiative. An effective way to develop initiative is to volunteer for new opportunities as they come up at work. An even better way is to suggest new processes or projects and take the lead in testing them out.

3. Team work/collaboration. A great way to develop team work and collaboration skills is to

volunteer with a local nonprofit or church organization and participate in planning an event or fundraiser. The more opportunities you have to work in collaboration with others the more you'll be able to improve your skills in this area.

4. Creativity. Everyone is creative in some way. Creativity is not just for artists and designers. Creativity enables you to look at problems in a different way and come up with unique solutions. It may even mean that you come to understand that the problem really isn't a problem after all. You can continue to develop your creativity by being curious. Don't stop learning. Meet new people and travel to new places. And don't neglect your personal passions. They can co-exist with your job.

Consider finding a mentor to support you in developing these soft skills and you'll find yourself improving in ways you never imagined.

High 5 Weekly Career Transitions Roundup: The Secret to Career Happiness

This is our weekly roundup of some of the best career-related articles, interviews, blogs, etc., we've read during the week. We share them so you have some great resources to prepare you for the coming week. Enjoy!

© Bellemedia | Stock Free Images & Dreamstime Stock Photos

• Why All Managers Must be Leaders: "Management and leadership need to be taught in schools as interconnected disciplines that cannot exist without the other. Leaders within organizations should be mentored so that they know how to properly manage."


• What is the Secret of Career Happiness?: "If you know you're playing to your strengths, in an environment you can thrive and feel your work is rewarding, that really is happiness at work."


• 7 Social Media Tips to Boost Your Job Search: "As more companies turn to researching their candidates online, it’s more important for job seekers to understand their online presence as well as how to improve it."


• The Pros and Cons of Doing One Thing at a Time: "When you juggle, your tasks interact with each other, and that can be a good thing. As they compete for your attention, their specific problems come into sharp relief, and new solutions present themselves."


• Improving Communication Skills for Job Seekers: "Employers use email to ask for more information, request interviews and provide status updates. This vital business communication vehicle is another chance to highlight your strengths in written communication."

Three questions to ask to get your point across

While creativity is a skill CEOs feel is critical to workplace success, the ability to communicate effectively is another. Communication - particularly how you get your message across to another or to others - is an art as well as a skill. Before you share your message, ask yourself these questions to do so appropriately and to maximize others' understanding of it.

What language does my audience use? By this question I don't mean "English," "Spanish," "French," etc. but what are the key terms and concepts that your audience is familiar with that they will respond to. For example, if you are giving a presentation to a non-business audience, using terms like widgets, gross margin, net revenue, etc. will not only lose them, they will feel frustrated at being lost. Another example would be in a job interview: if you use a lot of acronyms from your old position, you are going to confuse and irritate your interviewers. Get into the head of those you will be conveying your message to and be sure that you are using words to which they relate.

What is a metaphor that best conveys my message? I love using metaphors to get my point across, as they can take complex topics or issues and make them more relatable and accessible. While you can risk becoming cliché with your metaphors, a well-placed simile can heighten your audiences' understanding of your subject. One time while working at a university I had to explain the difference between "campus cash" (campus currency that could be used anywhere on campus) and "dining dollars" (campus currency that could only be used in the dining halls). "Picture the university as the United States," I said. "Campus cash is like the U.S. dollar: it can be used anywhere. Now, think of the dining halls as amusement parks. Not only can you use the U.S. dollar at amusement parks, you can also purchase amusement park cash for special deals and bonuses, but it is only usable at the amusement park." A simple metaphor, but it helped my audience left understanding it perfectly.

What is the best medium for my message? This is a question that many of us frequently underestimate. In our digital age a message can be conveyed in many ways: over the phone, face-to-face, via email, and in some instances via social media. The advice I typically give is the more sensitive the message, the greater the need for person-to-person communication. Bad news is best delivered face-to-face, but so can good news when you want to specifically recognize individuals for their achievement. General information and announcements can be made via email and a message that you want to get out to the public can be made via social media. There are endless permutations to this, however, so use your best judgment and consult with a trusted colleague if you are unsure how to proceed.

Your point isn't to merely say what you need to say: it needs to be received, understood, and acknowledged. Ask yourself these questions to ensure that your point comes across.

Following Directions

Do you find yourself frequently misinterpreting or even questioning directions on the job?   Following directions at work is important in helping you to be successful in your career.  If following directions is an issue for you, it is time to step back and take a good look at what’s going on.


Identify the Cause
Congratulations, you’ve conquered step one—recognizing there is a problem.  Next you need to identify what might be causing you to misinterpret, question, or even outright ignore the direction of those in authority.  


Miscommunication
A common culprit can be miscommunication; you may be misinterpreting verbal or written directions from management. Be sure you are listening to directions carefully, then restate the directions in your own words and clarify anything you do not understand.  Another idea: if directions are verbally communicated, follow up by reiterating them in writing.  This is particularly helpful if directions are unclear, ambiguous, or complicated. Avoid impromptu hallway discussions about detailed tasks and directions; instead, request a meeting so you can come prepared or request directions in writing.  


Challenging Direction 
If you’ve decided miscommunication isn’t the issue, ask yourself if you are challenging direction because you disagree with the approach?  Most employers welcome employees who use their knowledge and expertise to develop solutions and ideas, but be sure to present these in a professional manner.  If management disagrees with your approach and instructs you to implement the original directions, do so respectfully unless extreme circumstances will compromise you or the company legally or ethically.   If your inability to follow directions stems from a lack of respect for your direct manager, explore opportunities to move to another group within the organization.  If the issue is a lack of respect for company leadership, you may need to find a different employer altogether. 

The 4-step Approach to Requesting a Behavior Change

We have all experienced a situation where we had a communication barrier or wanted to change a co-worker's or boss' negative behavior. Often, we blunder into this situation unsure how to handle it and the outcome is even worse than the original problem. Alternatively, we ignore the situation, hoping it will go away, and silently suffer. I would like to present you with a 4-step process that I used to teach in a professional communication course that I believe will work in most any situation.

Step 1 - Validate the Person.
People have filters in place that affect how they perceive communication, these could be the result of their attitude, prejudices, past experiences our other influences such as stress. You can not control their filters, but you can control your communication style. Keep your style assertive, yet positive. To start the conversation off on a positive note, start with the person's name, acknowledge their value and worth, and offer them a compliment.

"Sally, I really enjoy working with you because you are really good with diffusing upset customers and building customer relationships."

Step 2 - Objectively Describe the Situation
You can't hope to change the behavior unless you clearly and objectively describe the behavior. Don't use labels or inflammatory language. Simply state, in neutral terms, the behavior that you find upsetting or that you would like to change.

"We are a good team here at the ABC Company. When you say negative things about our co-workers and they are not around to hear them or to defend themselves . . . . (to be continued in Step 3).

Step 3 - Express your Feelings and Thoughts
Be very careful to use "I" statements in this step, never say "you make me feel." No one can make you feel something, you are in charge of your thoughts, emotions, and reactions. Remember to take accountability for your feelings, since you are the one asking for the change.

" . . . . I feel uncomfortable because I am afraid it might undermine our team environment."

Step 4 - Specify the Change you Would Like to See
At this point, you are able to ask for the change. The reason this is so effective is that you approach the issue from your point of view and ask the person to understand and accept your feelings. Most of the time, people don't think of how their actions affect others.

Ask the person for just one observable behavior change. What you ask for should be related to what you have been discussing and should be something with which you can both identify. Be sure to ask for the person's agreement with what you are asking before you end the conversation.

"I would like it if you would stop talking about other people when they are not a part of the conversation. I think that if we could all keep our negative thoughts or judgments to ourselves, we could be a much stronger team. Would you be willing to make this change, Sally?"

This approach is a very positive, professional, and assertive way of dealing with issues that works to protect the relationship of the two people talking. Of course it will not work every time. Some people are just difficult. Check back on Thursday for a discussion on what to do when the positive approach does not work.

High 5 Weekly Career Transitions Roundup

This is our weekly roundup of some of the best career-related articles, interviews, blogs, etc., we've read during the week. We share these every weekend so you have some great resources to prepare you for the coming week. Enjoy!


1. Why You Need a Photo on Your LinkedIn Profile
2. How To Rock An Informational Interview
3. Get a Job in December
4. Developing Executive Presence
5. Improving Communication Skills for Job Search Success