Daily Leap Career Video of the Week: Practice Self Compassion

Each week we present our Daily Leap Career Video of the Week. The video we share presents news or advice related to career development, searching for a job, the economy and employment, and other career-related topics.

It’s easy to be difficult on ourselves and this can lead to difficulties in our work and personal lives. The video below provides an exercise in practicing self compassion.

Daily Leap Career Video of the Week: Building Self-Confidence

Each week we present our Daily Leap Career Video of the Week. The video we share presents news or advice related to career development, searching for a job, the economy and employment, and other career-related topics.

In our video today personal development trainer Brendon Burchard shares 5 steps to building self-confidence. According to Brendon, “Confidence means you’re being who you are, authentically, for no other reason. Nobody gave you permission; you just decided to be who you are.”

Enjoy the video and become more self-confident today!

Daily Leap Career Video of the Week: The Skill of Self Confidence

Each week we present our Daily Leap Career Video of the Week. The video we share presents news or advice related to career development, searching for a job, the economy and employment, and other career-related topics.

In this video Athletic Director and soccer coach Ivan Joseph discusses the skill of self confidence and how we can develop this skill to enhance our lives and careers.

Watch the video below for more:

Fake it Until You Make it, How to Fake Confidence in the Job Search

When meeting potential employers, it is important to remember that in their eyes, confidence is equal to competence. In other words, if you appear confident, they automatically assume you know what you are doing. Many people take the process - and its inevitable rejections - personally. Therefore, one of the first victims in the job search process is self-confidence. 

Confidence, however you may be feeling on any given day, can absolutely be faked. You may find that after using the non-verbal and verbal tips below to "fake" your confidence that you will soon "make it" and feel the confidence you have been faking!

Posture
Stand up straight, put your shoulders back, and hold your head up high. The next time you feel down or less than confident, run yourself through this posture checklist. Slumped shoulders make you look like a deflated balloon. Poor posture is one of the first signs of low levels of confidence.

Eye Contact
People who are self-confident are not intimidated by looking directly at people - especially in the job search process. Candidates who avoid eye contact are deemed untrustworthy and lacking in self esteem.

Tone of Voice
Project enthusiasm, passion, and excitement for your career field and the job for which you are applying. This rule applies whether you are talking with the receptionist, the human resources manager, or the hiring manager. Don't think for a minute that everyone who you interact with does not come together to discuss the candidates.

Appearance
People who are well-groomed, wear clothes that fit them properly, and are flattering to their individual shape often appear the most confident. The old saying of "When you look good, you feel good" definitely applies in this case.

Listen More, Talk Less
People who are nervous or lack self-confidence tend to talk more and listen less. Unfortunately, it often comes out as nervous babble that will provide the impression that you are a nervous, know-it-all. Try to strike a balance in these situations that involves talking less, listening more, and adding a few questions to keep the other person engaged in the conversation.

Regain Confidence Following a Job Loss

Job loss can take a heavy toll on an individual’s self-esteem and may negatively impact that person’s confidence during a job search. If this happens to you, the following may help you regain your confidence and land a job you desire.

Focus on Strengths and Accomplishments

If you’ve lost your job, you may also have lost sight of your strengths and the value you can bring to an organization. If so, it’s time to make a list of all your strengths and professional accomplishments so you can play these up in your resume, cover letters, and interviews. Rebuild your confidence by reviewing your list regularly.

Be Mindful of Your Language

Confidence, or lack thereof, is often demonstrated in your verbal and body language. Consider what your words, tone of voice, and body language may be telling a prospective employer. Employers look for job candidates who are confident in their job skills and persuasive about their ability to do the job. Practice interviewing; focus on using positive word choices and declarative statements like, “I have the experience and skills to do this job.”

Make Sure Your Internal Voice is Positive

When a person is unemployed, his/her internal messaging can be negatively focused on shortcomings or past mistakes. It is very important to change this negative to be more positive. Shift your mindset to focusing on your past successes, your strengths, and the opportunities that lie ahead.

Don’t Take It Personally

It’s difficult, but don’t personalize it if you were part of a company’s downsizing or when a job offer from a new employer has yet to come your way. Several factors impact a company’s decision to lay off or to make job offers, and many of these have no reflection on your abilities. You can’t change the past, so keep your attention on the future as you market and sell your experience and skills to prospective employers.

Remember too, don’t be afraid to turn to family and friends─or even a professional resource, like a psychologist─for emotional support after a job loss and to help you get back on track and regain your confidence.

How Your Career Saboteur Operates - Second in a Series

You have decided that you want to start your own business.

Or you want to change careers.

Or perhaps you want to apply for a promotion you feel you "barely qualify" for, or even apply to your dream company.

Welcome to the land of the saboteur.

Last week's post asked you to think of one to three big, "dream-worthy" things that you have wanted to accomplish in your career but haven't been able to. If you haven't done this already, go back to it now and do it. You're going to need them going forward. Because today we are going to get intimate with your saboteur, rooting him/her out and connecting in a way that you haven't done so previously. But, right now, we need to learn about what the concept of resistance.

In his book Do the Work, Steven Pressfield speaks of resistance, ultimately confirming that "any act that rejects immediate gratification in favor of long-term growth, health, or integrity" will be welcomed with resistance.

You know what I'm about to say: your saboteur is what generates the resistance. Because your saboteur only comes into play when you're dreaming big. It's not your saboteur that keeps you from eating a piece of rotten fruit that will make you ill or keeps you from jumping off of a 20-story building. You may think it is, but it isn't. The saboteur is different from your physical survival instinct. The latter keeps you from dying; the former keeps your dreams-and you-from living.

In order to build the resilience to counter your saboteur's resistance, you need to get to know him/her. This is our next assignment.

Assignment #2: How Your Saboteur Operates
At the top of a page, write one of your career dreams from the last assignment. Underneath that, note all of the saboteur-like statements that arise when reflecting on that dream: statements that undermine your power, want to keep you safe, discount your magnificence, and strive to keep you the same. Make the list as exhaustive as possible. Finally-after you have done this with all of your career dreams-answer these questions about your saboteur (note: this requires a modicum of creativity and playfulness; just go with it):

- What is your saboteur's name?
- What does your saboteur look like? Describe him/her physically.
- What does his/her voice sound like?
- Where does your saboteur live? Describe his/her home.
- When do you first remember your saboteur first communicating with you?
- How has your saboteur evolved over the years?
- Under what circumstances is your saboteur the loudest? The quietest?
- What can your saboteur claim credit for costing you in your life?
- What makes your saboteur as powerful has he/she is?

Next week: what to do about your career saboteur.

Three Steps to Step out of Victimization

If you’re a morning person and you live with someone who isn’t, life-at times-can be an exercise in patience. And it was for me recently when, yet again, we were late to a yoga class. This time I was especially annoyed because, as I feared would happen every time before, class was full. So much for establishing a focused connection with my body or improving my dismal flexibility. With my bottom lip out I trudged toward the elliptical machine, fuming over the circumstances that led to me missing class. I irritably and obsessively mulled over my wife’s unreliability. And then, in a flash, it hit me:

I was being a victim.

Being a victim is a common yet futile state to be in. You fail to see your role in your problems, surrender your power, and stay in a perspective of negativity. Victimization can be especially dangerous in the career realm because it creates an attitude of helplessness, entitlement, and hopelessness. You can fight entitlement in your career in these three ways:

Take responsibility: When you take responsibility you see how you have influenced your situation-good or bad. In my situation, I blamed my wife for being late without considering what I had done. Didn’t I agree to go to class with her? Didn’t I know that she wasn’t a morning person. Didn’t I expect to be late? Thus, who was really responsible for my misery? Me. Whether your career is not going in the direction you want it to go, you dislike your work environment, you don’t feel that you are being challenged enough at work, or whatever reason you are feeling dissatisfied, approach it from a place of responsibility and note all of the ways that you are contributing to your misery.

Empower yourself: Once you take responsibility, you can take it upon yourself to make changes. What are you going to start doing and what are you going to stop doing? Who do you need to talk to about it? What are you able to do and what aren’t you able to do. If there’s something you don’t know, who can you talk to that will know? Get clear and specific about your options and the steps necessary to change.

Cultivate optimism: I once heard a quote to the effect of “you shouldn’t worry about things you can change, because you can change them. You also shouldn’t worry about things you can’t change, because you can’t change them. What else is there?” You can’t make permanent change if you aren’t in an optimistic space. Focus on the positives that will come out of your decision, or-if you decide to do nothing-focus on the positives that come from that decision since you made it from a place of empowerment.

My wife and I are fine, of course, but I learned a powerful lesson in the futility of being a victim. Let responsibility, empowerment, and optimism guide you to better choices and a better livelihood.

Fake it Until you Make it! The Art (and Necessity) of Faking Confidence.

I have two daughters that are 2 years apart. The older daughter is brimming with confidence – bordering on arrogance. The younger daughter has almost no confidence. Same parents, raised in the same household by my husband and I, but they are so very different. I work every day on helping my younger daughter to believe in herself and find her identity because as a professional I know how important confidence can be to success.

Confidence is critical in the workplace, whether you are employed or looking for a job. When you have confidence, people automatically assume you are competent. If you are unemployed and you lack confidence you will find it even harder to land that dream job. Most likely, if you lack confidence your job search is lacking in the following areas:

Networking. People who are unsure of themselves are less likely to take risks, ask for assistance, and go out of their way to meet new people.

Communicating your value. Whether you are writing your resume and cover letter or talking about yourself in an interview, you must focus on your strengths and accomplishments.

Improving your career from job to job. No matter the state of the economy, if you have confidence and a firm grasp of the value you can add to a company, you can improve your job situation by effectively marketing your skills and benefits. The people who lack confidence often take the first job that comes along because they don’t believe a better opportunity will present itself.

Negotiating salary. People who lack confidence are hesitant to negotiate salary because they do not accept the value they bring a company. Identify your strengths, skills, and accomplishments to define the benefits you can offer a company, then ask to be compensated accordingly.

So, if you are lacking confidence the first step is to ask yourself why. The next step is to do something about it. Here are some tips to get you on the road to self-confidence.

* Fake it until you make it. Confidence can be faked when you meet someone. Hold your head high, look them in the eye, shake their hand with enthusiasm, and stand up straight. Body language goes a long way toward projecting confidence. Chances are when you start “faking” your confidence, you may just start to believe it yourself.

* Take the time to identify your strengths and give yourself credit for your accomplishments. By making this list, you will not only boost your confidence, you will also prepare to speak confidently about yourself in an interview.

* Accept who you are, admit your mistakes, and move on. Do not compare yourself to others, simply accept that you are unique and have a combination of talents and strengths that no one else has.

* Surround yourself with positive people and situations. Job searching is challenging enough without the support of friends and family. You may need to seek the support of a career coach or resume writer to help you identify your strengths and weaknesses.