High 5 Weekly Career Transitions Roundup: How to Deal with That Co-Worker Who Drives You Crazy

This is our weekly roundup of some of the best career-related articles, interviews, blogs, etc., we've read during the week. We share them so you have some great resources to prepare you for the coming week. Enjoy!

• How to Deal with That Co-Worker Who Drives You Crazy:"tiptoeing around the real problem only means that the person on the receiving end is either confused, misinformed, or insulted."

• 7 Tips to Improve Your Public Speaking Skills: "Keep in mind, your speaking is not about you proving your brilliance, winning raving fans, making yourself 'right' or making others 'wrong'—it’s about making things better."

• How I Fired My Co-Founder, CEO and Close Friend: "We were severely misaligned in our vision for the company: I wanted to grow strategically, perfecting one product before launching another; he wanted to expand into new categories, and fast."

• Brene Brown on Why Employees Should Be Prepared for Failure: "The intention of this approach isn't to be mean; it's about setting the expectation that your employees inevitably will fall short at some point. In the long run, that should help make them stronger workers."
• 13 Ways to Build Lasting Relationships With Customers: "In the current business climate where every customer is bombarded with digital messaging, remember that a personal touch counts."

Three Steps to Step out of Victimization

If you’re a morning person and you live with someone who isn’t, life-at times-can be an exercise in patience. And it was for me recently when, yet again, we were late to a yoga class. This time I was especially annoyed because, as I feared would happen every time before, class was full. So much for establishing a focused connection with my body or improving my dismal flexibility. With my bottom lip out I trudged toward the elliptical machine, fuming over the circumstances that led to me missing class. I irritably and obsessively mulled over my wife’s unreliability. And then, in a flash, it hit me:

I was being a victim.

Being a victim is a common yet futile state to be in. You fail to see your role in your problems, surrender your power, and stay in a perspective of negativity. Victimization can be especially dangerous in the career realm because it creates an attitude of helplessness, entitlement, and hopelessness. You can fight entitlement in your career in these three ways:

Take responsibility: When you take responsibility you see how you have influenced your situation-good or bad. In my situation, I blamed my wife for being late without considering what I had done. Didn’t I agree to go to class with her? Didn’t I know that she wasn’t a morning person. Didn’t I expect to be late? Thus, who was really responsible for my misery? Me. Whether your career is not going in the direction you want it to go, you dislike your work environment, you don’t feel that you are being challenged enough at work, or whatever reason you are feeling dissatisfied, approach it from a place of responsibility and note all of the ways that you are contributing to your misery.

Empower yourself: Once you take responsibility, you can take it upon yourself to make changes. What are you going to start doing and what are you going to stop doing? Who do you need to talk to about it? What are you able to do and what aren’t you able to do. If there’s something you don’t know, who can you talk to that will know? Get clear and specific about your options and the steps necessary to change.

Cultivate optimism: I once heard a quote to the effect of “you shouldn’t worry about things you can change, because you can change them. You also shouldn’t worry about things you can’t change, because you can’t change them. What else is there?” You can’t make permanent change if you aren’t in an optimistic space. Focus on the positives that will come out of your decision, or-if you decide to do nothing-focus on the positives that come from that decision since you made it from a place of empowerment.

My wife and I are fine, of course, but I learned a powerful lesson in the futility of being a victim. Let responsibility, empowerment, and optimism guide you to better choices and a better livelihood.

5 Strategies for Dealing with a Difficult Coworker

Often times, we spend more of our time at work than home with our family members. You can’t always choose your co-workers, any more than you get to choose your family and you certainly can’t always get along with everyone.

Whether you find yourself working with a bully, a negative person, an outright liar, or a gossip, if you want to protect your work environment you can follow these steps to resolve the situation.

Have a plan and be prepared
If you have to deal regularly with an argumentative or negative person, be proactive. When faced with a situation for which we are unprepared, we are likely to act on instincts and strike back or become angry. Don’t react to conflict emotionally, be professional and non-confrontational. Walk away from the conflict when you are both angry. When everyone calms down, talk through the issue in a carefully planned, well-though manner.

Don’t be a part of the problem
When we are attacked our instinct is to protect ourselves. However, hostile people who are confrontational often thrive on controversy and tension. Don’t play their game and fuel their fire. You need to be the more mature and professional person. If you react only with kindness and positive comments, they will tend to leave you alone to work in peace.

Try to see their point of view
Is there a reason this person is being so difficult or has a bad attitude? Maybe they are having marital, money, or health problems. Although these issues don’t excuse a bad attitude, they may explain it. It is possible they are not aware of how they are perceived or that they come across negatively. Talk with them and show them kindness and understanding. Attempt to see things from their point of view.

Know when to seek support
If you have tried all the suggestions with no success, you may need to involve a neutral third party. This person will serve as a mediator who will listen to both sides of the story and help find a middle ground. Go into this conversation with an open mind and try your best to work as a team. If this does not work, it may be time to get your supervisor involved.

Know when to say when
We are bound to have occasional disagreements when interacting with people every day. If the problem can not be resolved, you have a decision to make. If your productivity and work performance is negatively affected, either you or your co-worker needs to move on to a new department or find a new job.

Five Ways to Deal with Difficult Co-workers

If you are a full-time employee, you see some of your co-workers more than you see your best friend or spouse. When you put so many different personalities together, it is inevitable that there will be some people that do not get along. There are many different reasons; they may be a bully, a negative person, or a gossip. No matter the situation you face, how you handle it can impact your work environment and ultimately your work satisfaction.

Have a plan and be prepared
If you have to deal regularly with an argumentative or negative person, be proactive. When faced with a situation for which we are unprepared, we are likely to act on instincts and strike back or become angry. Don’t react to conflict emotionally, be professional and non-confrontational.

When you decide to confront the problem, talk through the issue with the person in terms of facts, not feelings. Clearly define the issue and your desired outcome and write it down so you stay on track during the discussion.

Don’t be a part of the problem
When we are attacked, our instinct is to protect ourselves. However, hostile people who are confrontational often thrive on controversy and tension. Don’t play their game and fuel their fire. You need to be the more mature and professional person. If you react only with kindness and positive comments, they will tend to leave you alone to work in peace.

Identify people who tend to create problems and try to steer clear of them. Ensure your interaction with these people stays professional and focused solely on the work environment. Do not engage in negative banter, gossip, or criticism of the boss – no matter what kind of day you may be having.

Try to see their point of view
Sometimes you need to ask yourself, is there a reason this person is being so difficult or has a bad attitude? Maybe they are having marital, money, or health problems. Although these issues don’t excuse a bad attitude, they may explain it.

It is possible they are not aware of how they are perceived or that they come across negatively. Talk with them and show them kindness and understanding. Attempt to see things from their point of view and you may be able to solve the problem for yourself and for them.

Know when to seek support
If you have tried all the suggestions with no success, you may need to involve a neutral third party. This person will serve as a mediator who will listen to both sides of the story and help find a middle ground. Go into this conversation with an open mind and try your best to work as a team. Never have a discussion with a difficult co-worker in front of other workers, always have the discussion behind closed doors. If this does not work, it may be time to get your supervisor involved.

Know when to say when
We are bound to have occasional disagreements when interacting with people every day. If the problem can not be resolved, you have a decision to make. If your productivity and work performance is negatively affected, either you or your co-worker needs to move on to a new department or find a new job.