5 Ways to Get Back Up and Benefit from Failure in Your Life and Career

If you succeed long enough in life you're going to fail. A lot. In fact, you might turn that around: if you fail long enough in life you're going to succeed. It is in our failures that we learn how to succeed if we are willing to take those failures and do something constructive with them.

When you fail, and you will, consider the following five ways to benefit from failure in a way that sets you up to succeed.

1. Increase gratitude. When we go through difficult times of failure, such as an unexpected job loss, it can help us recognize and be more grateful for the successes and good things we experience in our lives and careers. The most successful individuals are those that make a daily practice of expressing gratitude and recognizing the beauty in their lives.

2. Clarify and deepen support systems. We learn who we can trust and depend on during times of stress and difficulty. Our close friendships and relationships with colleagues are deepened and made more whole as we vulnerably share with them our experiences of failure and these people become our greatest support as we move toward new challenges and successes.

3. Develop humility. Sometimes success makes us forget who we are, disassociates us from our values, or leads us to treat others as inferior. Failure can be just the antidote we need to deal with an inflated ego and return us to reality, helping us understand anew the good we want to accomplish with others in our personal and work lives.

4. Take time to reflect. Failure often affords us the opportunity to take some time away, to reflect on and understand the reasons behind our failure, and to reset our lives and careers, and renew our focus on our vision and purpose.  

5. Build strength and resilience. If we let it, failure can be a great source of strength, building our willpower and determination to success, and helping us develop the resources to recover more quickly from future setbacks.

Yes, you can do this.

As the Japanese proverb says: fall seven times, stand up eight.

Ten reflective questions to transform your career

The words "reflection" and "workplace" are two that are not commonly found in the same sentence. In fact, most of our time at work is spent in the busy sphere of "doing" that we do not allow ourselves an opportunity to better understand why we are doing it, how we came about doing it, and what we are learning. 

Reflection is an important way to bridge that gap, to not only improve our on-the-job performance but to powerfully connect with our career. By creating a practice of reflection, you will have a stronger understanding of your contributions (including strengths, experience, and creative solutions) and your industry (its issues, complexities, and impact). 

Leverage these questions to become more reflective in your work:

What do I feel I excel at doing, and how does this compare to what others tell me?

What experiences have propelled me to where I am right now, and where do I want to go in the future?

What qualities of my character are on display in my work, and do they represent who I want to be?

How do I get to be creative in the work that I do, and how has that helped me grow?

Who are the important players and/or organizations my field, and what about their work impacts mine?

What need is my industry serving, and how might that need change in the short and long term?

What issues are important to my industry, and how might those issues shape future policy or practice?

What challenges is my industry facing, and how does what I do impact them?

What would it benefit me to learn so that I could be of more value now and in my future?

What is my industry growing in to, and how does this coincide with my values and beliefs?

Intentionally set aside time to reflect on these questions - even if it is a few of them - and reap the benefits of being a more learned, responsible, and aware professional.

Career Lessons from Ground Zero

Yesterday was the 10th anniversary of the most horrific terrorist attack upon our country. I spent the week before in New York City and made it a point to tour the WTC Memorial Museum. Among the models, videos, and artifacts on display was a room with the pictures of those who lost their lives on that tragic day. You couldn't help but be moved seeing their bright faces look back at you, people of all ages, races, cultural backgrounds, and professions. I spent time reflecting on those unique faces and the values embedded in what I saw and the values that resonated with me after my time in such a hallowed space:

Duty: Bravery was redefined by those who lost their lives trying to rescue people from the nightmare that was downtown Manhattan on September 11th. In the midst of mass confusion and chaos, their sense of duty was as unwaivering as it was the day before when the world was normal. No matter what profession you are in, you're serving someone: focusing on those that you serve cultivates your sense of duty.

Passion: I cannot say whether those who went to work at the World Trade Center on September 11th did so because of a love of their careers or a sense of obligation to their families, their lifestyles, or some other reason. But looking upon those faces, I was reminded to live a worklife of passion, one that isn't one-dimensionally sunny but displays a sense of mission for one's craft and one's constituents.

Love: I never thought about work in this way before, but living a professional life of duty and passion, of service and excellence, of learning and growth...this is how you show love in your career, making the world a better place to be and contributing positively to your craft.

September 11th affected us in many different ways. It gave me comfort to look at an event that has been examined from many perspectives from a career one, and I hope that it inspires you to be the best you can be in your profession.

Soften the Career Change Blow

Last month I wrote about changing careers and things to keep in mind when undergoing that transition. It was a personal piece for me, as I was only one class away from completing all coursework for a PhD when I decided to quit. The decision to quit was very logical: I had become bored and listless in my studies and I felt that I was chasing a credential more than engaging with a subject that I felt passionately about. It didn't make sense for me to continue.

What ultimately made the decision difficult was telling the people who were closest to me that I was quitting. The reactions I received-shock, disappointment, fear, confusion-were entirely natural and what I expected. Careers are put into a different category than other aspects of our lives because we associate where someone works with who they are. So when someone makes an abrupt shift or change in career, we're forced to change how we see them, even though what one does is such a small component of their being. If I had told my friends and family members that I had stopped eating meat, I would have received a reaction...but not one as visceral as I did when I told them I was switching careers.

How do you soften the blow for those who care about you when you tell them you want to change careers? Follow these tips to make their (and your) coping process easier:

Expect a strong reaction: As I stated above, reactions to news like a career change can be powerful. Whether there is a financial investment in your decision or not, be ready to engage in a conversation with someone who might be reacting negatively. Listen to where they're coming from and show them empathy and understanding. It's unrealistic to get what you're not willing to show.

Be honest: When you tell your loved ones that you want to change careers, be honest and upfront with them. Explain how you are feeling about your current career and what prompts your desire to change.

Mobilize: The question your loved ones will ask you after "why" is "what now?" I recommend that you have some kind of plan in place before you broach the conversation will show your seriousness with which your treating your decision. Whether you know what you want to do next career-wise or you are unsure, show that you are committed to getting things figured out.

I was able to get the support of my loved ones and have embarked on a career that I find truly satisfying. The decisions you make don't just affect you; follow these tips to smooth over your transition.

Flashing Lights and Career Realities

I'm positive that the state trooper saw me a good seven seconds before I saw him. Speeding (literally) up to the Twin Cities, I verbally articulated the first word that came into my head: crap. I was caught. No way around it. I immediately slowed down and nervously glanced in my rearview mirror to see if he would take advantage of the oh-so-convenient turnaround to pursue me.

The car slowed down and crossed the median into my lane of traffic. My heart sank.

To my surprise, I recovered in seconds. I resigned myself to my fate. I imagined the lights behind my car and the calm way I would pull over. Putting my car in park, I would pull out my driver's license and place my hands high on the steering wheel so so that they could be seen. I would roll my window down and respectfully answer any questions the officer had before receiving a ticket. Wishing the officer a good day, I would continue on to my destination at a more appropriate speed. The images in my head became more visceral as the car approached mine...

Only to pass me.

You might think that I let out a sigh or a *whew!*...but I didn't. I was at peace with it. There was nothing to comment upon.

There was a time when I would have experienced a wide range of emotions in the same situation: anger, shame, frustration, victimization, sadness, etc. What made this time different was my ability to quickly come to terms with something I couldn't change and make choices from a productive frame of mind. In this situation, I chose to be peaceful. I could have been angry, but what purpose would that have served?

During your career trajectory you're bound to encounter problems both foreseen and unforeseen: a layoff, a job rejection, a bad economy, or an awful interview. Coming to terms with the reality of your situation and settling into a tranquil place will enable you to recovery quickly and expend your energy on actions that will move you forward. Follow these steps to move into productivity:

1. Set a timer for 10 minutes. Consider this time your 10-Minute Pity Party. Cry. Yell. Stew. But once the timer is up, you're done.

2. Shake off the pity and take some deep breaths. Let's get introspective. Reflect on these questions:

• How am I portraying the real me in this situation?



• What advice would someone I look up to as a role model of productive behavior give me right now?



• What will I take from this situation to make me happier?

3. Create three realistic, actionable tasks (with due dates) based upon your answers to the above questions that will leave you feeling productive and proud.

It's unrealistic to think that the above will be magic formula to cure a bruised sense of self after a career setback. Practice the steps above and don't move forward until you feel you ready to do so. Challenge yourself to cope with the muck and move to the good of the situation to manifest and keep a sensational state of mind.

Don't make me send the police after you.

Self-Assess for Self-Success: Bridge the Gap to be Who You Want to Be!

In my last post I offered some powerful questions to our blog readers to help them turn rejection into rumination and career success. Self-assessment and reflection are powerful skills to develop to become a more successful and capable professional. This week’s activity will help you pinpoint where you are now, where you want to be, and how to get there. Get out your piece of notebook paper or open a blank MS Word document and prepare to assess, dream, and plan by answering the following questions:

What kind of professional do I want to be?: Throw away the inhibitions and the “yeah, buts”! This question is designed for you to get in touch with your biggest dreams and aspirations. Be specific: what career field are you working in? What are you wearing to work? Who are you working with? What kinds of issues are you tackling on a daily basis? What does your work environment look like? How are you showing pride in what you are doing? Be descriptive and dream BIG!

Who am I as a professional now?: Describe who you are right now. Again, be as descriptive as possible about your current state of employment (or unemployment). What do you do? What are your daily tasks? Who do you work with? What occupies your mind most of the day? How are you living your values? You get the idea: do a healthy assessment of your present situation.

What is the gap between the two?: So you have who you want to be and who you are right now…but what do you do with this information? Time to identify those gaps: what keeps you from being that professional you want to be? Is it education? Or experience? Perhaps you need to start networking with those who are in the position that you want? Spend some time assessing that gap; enroll a friend or a trusted colleague if needed for some objective feedback to help you.

What is something you can do right now to tackle that gap?: It’s action time. You should now have a list identifying things you can do to bridge your gap. Pick one distinct action you can take to make that gap smaller. It could be something along the lines of taking a class, conducting some research, meeting with someone, or reading a book. The point is to set your goal and create a deadline around it to ensure its completion.

Let reflection and acting with intention guide you to a more prosperous career!