How to Handle Rejection

“Thank you for your interest in the VIP position at ABC corporation. I want to thank you for applying for the position and let you know that we are moving forward with another candidate. Other positions open regularly and we invite you to keep an eye open for future job postings.”

You might have received a similar message by email or over the phone sometime and even if the position didn’t seem right to you or you had concluded that you weren’t a good fit, it can hurt to experience rejection.

So, how best to manage the disappointment that comes from rejection and move forward?

First of all, accept how you feel. It’s perfectly normal to feel down or disappointed by the rejection. If you’ve received multiple messages like this you might be feeling very discouraged and wonder if you’ll ever find the right job. Allow yourself to experience these emotions, acknowledge that it’s okay and normal to feel them but decide on a time (say 48 hours) for you to move on.

Then reevaluate your strategy. Perhaps you need to be more targeted in your job search, or maybe you can gain more support and leads from your network. Don’t be afraid to ask for feedback, both from those close to you and from a prospective employer that you interviewed with. Take some time to gather feedback, revise your job search strategy, and refocus your energy.

Reenergize by gaining a new perspective. Look at each rejection as an opportunity to learn something new about your field, to develop strength and grit, and to work on taking a more positive and optimistic approach to your career. Every door that shuts makes possible another door to open, leading to a position that will best utilize your strengths and skills. Or perhaps it’s even time to consider taking the path of an entrepreneur. 

Finally, continue to apply for jobs, experience rejection, and get back up. You’ll learn a lot about yourself, other companies, and gain valuable experience and knowledge about your industry by interviewing for many positions.

The resilience you develop will eventually lead to the right position in the best company for you.

Handling Your Career Leadership Saw

As a career blogger and coach, I look to many sources of inspiration for my clients and me; some of them are conventional, others less so. One such source manifested itself recently, one I didn't expect but has embedded itself in my mind since I read about it.

Saws.

One of my favorite bloggers, EvilHRLady, posted about how her kid is going to be my kid's boss someday. And why will this happen? Because her kid knows how to appropriately handle saws, pocket knives, and cook and eat their own food.

Did I mention he was three-years-old?

You read that correctly: a three-year-old is managing sharp metal instruments and cooking for himself. EvilHRLady-who is an American expat living in Switzerland-signed her son up for a "forest school" experience, one very common in that country. I'll cease going into the details (read the blog post) but suffice to say that she brings up an important issue: that we are undermining our children's leadership potential by operating from a perspective of fear, "protection," and a belief that children cannot be self-reliant.

But, today, I'm not talking about three-year-olds. I'm talking about you. Because we were all once three-year-olds. And in many ways, we still are.

It's easy to see the saw as a metaphor for that which we think we cannot handle, but-in reality-we can. If a three-year-old can play in the wilderness-rain, shine, snow, whatever-for four hours, what can you do in your career that you currently think you cannot? What challenges have you been turning your back on? What beliefs you hold are holding you back?

I have blogged before about taking the 'easy' out of your career, beating your career saboteur, and changing perspectives. I invite you to go back and reread them, along with the other excellent practical and inspirational posts here at the Daily Leap.

You grow as a leader by putting yourself in uncomfortable situations, facing your fears, and believing more in yourself than you thought possible.

Don't you think it's time that you picked up the saw?

Find Balance Through New Perspectives

I'm currently in a coach training program that requires us to do a lot of introspection and self-reflection work. Particularly around perspectives, because it's perspectives that-in large part-shape our moment to moment experiences and long term outlook. If you can control your perspective, you have a powerful means of changing anything about your life for the better.

Not sure what I mean? Let's take a seemingly insignificant topic to see how the power of perspectives work: mustard. To some, mustard elicits feelings of extreme pleasure. They may think of the summer, ball games, grilling, or other positive feelings. To others (and I admit that I'm in this perspective), mustard is disgusting. It stains one's hands and makes food taste awful. Nothing in the world is worse than mustard. Blech!

Both are perspectives. The mustard? It's neutral. It just sits there.

When viewing life through this lens, it isn't hard to see that anything in life is merely a perspective. The preference to buy PC over Mac. How you feel about your in-laws. The state of the job market. How you feel about your work contributions.

Assessing your perspective is a powerful way to uncover your motivations, values, and your passions. Think of some area in your life where you feel that your perspective is distorted or an area where you feel a change in perspective would be beneficial. That is your "topic." Once you have it, use the questions below to assess your perspective to see if it's the right one for you.

What is my current perspective? Simply describe your current perspective in relation to your topic in, say, three to five sentences.

How does this perspective make me feel? Really work hard to get in touch with your feelings here. Put yourself in those feelings and describe them in detail. Anger, pride, disgust, appreciation, fear, love...strive to get in touch with them.

What does this perspective empower me to do? All perspectives motivate us in some way, even if they motivate us to do nothing. Be honest about what this perspective empowers you to do, even if its to get angry or be immobile.

What is possible through this perspective? This question really hits at the heart of perspectives: if you were to stay in the same perspective for the rest of your life, what would be possible? How would your life look?

What new perspective would I like to "try on"? The great thing about perspectives is that we can change them.
Just like trying on a new hat or new coat, try on a new perspective. Even if you have to pretend...do it! And once you've found one that you'd like to try on, go through the previous four questions again. Do this several times until you arrive at the perspective that fits best for you, and stay in it.

Perspectives play a large role in what we do and who we are. Alter your perspectives to make powerful changes to your life.

Deck Maintenance and Shaping a Brilliant Career

I'm looking out my office window right now at an unfinished deck. My in-laws are in town helping my wife and I replace wood that had either rotted away or was on its way to. Working on the deck has been an adventure for me; I'm learning skills that I have not learned before and taking part in tasks that I, until this point, never have. Last night I dreamed of radial saws and 2 x 6 pieces of wood. To me, the act of building is a whole new world, and not necessarily a world I want to delve more into. I have never considered myself a handyman (though I have a lot of respect for those that are) and working on the deck was an opportunity for me to spend time doing something I don't enjoy while simultaneously screwing it up. Double-whammy. It has to be done, though; a deck doesn't maintain itself.

Our deck came with the house we purchased. Isn't that a funny thought? We buy a house and-BOOM!-there's a deck. We tend to take for granted how we procure things. We can go to the store and buy nearly anything that we want without much thought or consideration of where it came from. Real people-whether in this country or elsewhere-put time and effort into creating, an act that deserves much respect and reverence. Real people built my deck.

But just like those people, we are creating, too; through our lives and specifically through our work. I ride the bus to work every morning, and my morning bus driver is a wonderful, upbeat individual. "Hello! How are you this morning, sir!" is what I'm greeted with when I get on the bus. I love his positive attitude and how chipper he is. He's creating an enjoyable experience for me as a bus passenger. And note that this enjoyable experience isn't necessarily a critical component of his job; his job is to get me to my destination safely and on-time. But he creates much more through his attitude. I know I'm not the only bus passenger who appreciates it.

We choose our attitudes; they don't choose use. It's a fact. And from that attitude comes how we approach our work. Was I going to approach the deck with a bad attitude or with the attitude of my bus driver? How do you you approach the work that you do? Reflect upon the questions below and let them influence you at work this week:

Do I approach what I do from a positive attitude? If so, why? If not, what is holding me back?

What more can I do in my current role that will further my career?

How do I use my current role to create in a brilliant way?

When was the last time I truly please someone in my current job? What did it feel like, and how can I create that moment again?

Now...there is a deck outside that deserves the pleasure of my attention.