Should You Stay Silent or Speak Up?

What do you do when you’ve been disrespected on the job, disagree with your boss, or feel like you’re wasting your time and talents on the job?

Should you speak up and risk rocking the boat or stay silent and maintain the status quo?

Both options can be a valid response, depending on the circumstances. The trick is understanding your situation and knowing what’s best for you and your career.

Take the following factors into consideration.

Unethical practices. If you believe that your company or manager are engaged in unethical or immoral behavior you likely will want to speak up. However, be careful to avoid accusations that might inflame the situation. You can begin conversations with “It seems to me that …” or “It appears we …” but it’s probably better to bring the discussion to your Human Resources department, rather than with your boss (particularly if you believe he or she is knowingly involved in unethical behavior).

A strong emotional response. If the situation is provoking intense feelings, such as anger or frustration, it will be helpful to bring this up. However, it’s how you bring this up that is important. In the midst of intense reactions, it can be best to remain silent and wait until you feel more in control of your words. Rather than defuse a situation or clarify a misunderstanding, responding in anger can make things worse, delaying or preventing a positive resolution.

Disagreements on the job. If you believe that your skills are not being used properly or you disagree on the direction of a project that is an indication that you’ll want to engage your manager or coworker in a conversation. This is not a time to be haughty or rude but to clearly lay out the reasons behind your disagreement and seek to bring understanding to the situation.

It’s often easier to remain silent on the job or to respond in anger to a situation but it’s important to your career development to deepen your skills at resolving conflicts and knowing when and how to communicate effectively.

3 Things To Do When You've Been Passed Over For a Promotion

Several years ago I was passed over for a promotion I had been expecting and preparing for over the previous few years. My supervisor had made it clear that she intended for me to replace her.

However, after she left, and I went through the interview process a surprising thing happened. I did not get the promotion.

Unfortunately, my response to getting passed over was not helpful and soon after I left the company for a new position. It turned out to be a bad career and personal decision.

So here are three things you can do differently if you are passed over for a job promotion:

1. Allow yourself to feel ... angry, frustrated, sad, and any other emotion you experience. However, only allow yourself to focus on these feelings for a limited period of time, say 48 hours, and then move on. Dwelling on those feelings will have you experiencing bitterness and make it more difficult for you to make a good decision about the future of your work.

2. Ask, listen, and fully understand. Seek out a meeting with the manager who made the decision about the promotion. Do your best to go into the meeting with an attitude of curiosity and a genuine desire to understand why you did not get the promotion. Listen carefully and say very little. Do not attempt to persuade the manager that he or she made a mistake. Do not attempt to defend yourself against any shortcomings the manager identifies. Leave the meeting on good terms with the manager.

3. Humbly apply what you've learned. If the manager provided you with some specific and concrete ways to improve your performance and develop skills to make you more qualified for a promotion develop a plan to meet the objection identified. If you take a serious approach to dealing with any shortcomings identified you will likely find that another opportunity for a promotion will make itself available.

And then you will be ready for it.