How to Have a Difficult Conversation with Your Boss

Throughout your career there are times when you need to have a frank conversation with your supervisor. Perhaps you feel you’ve been disrespected in front of your peers, or you’ve been overlooked for a promotion or for an important assignment.

However, confronting your manager about this can be intimidating and so you might put the matter off, increasing your frustration and making it less likely you’ll find resolution on the issue.

Here are several tips for having a difficult, but productive, discussion with your supervisor.

Schedule a meeting. Do not just pop in on your manager and attempt to have a serious conversation unannounced, even if he or she has an open-door policy. You want a good result from the meeting and you’re more likely to get that if you’ve both been able to prepare for the discussion. Therefore, you want to set up a meeting time with your boss, providing a brief purpose for it.

Prepare for the meeting. Be clear about what you want to say and what your desired outcome is for the meeting. If you want a raise you need to be able to succinctly state your case for it, ask for a specific dollar amount or percentage increase, and request a deadline for hearing back about your request. These three steps can serve as a simple outline, regardless of your question or concern.

Be specific. When meeting with your boss, state clearly what the issue or concern is without judging or criticizing your supervisor. Take ownership of the issue and seek to bring about a win-win. For example, if you felt disrespected in front of your co-workers, assume the best of your boss and let him or her know that you experienced the situation as disrespectful rather than stating that your supervisor disrespected you. You are more likely to have a good outcome when you avoid attributing negative intentions and assume the best in your supervisor.

Follow up. Be sure to again thank your manager for taking the time to address a difficult subject and for their willingness to hear your point of view. Also remind your boss of any follow-up necessary and then be sure to follow-through on getting back to him or her at the appointed time.

Learning to address conflicts and concerns with your manager will improve your work experience, make you more effective at your job, and help you develop leadership skills necessary to advance in your career.